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I’ll Be Lame for the Concert!

I pause in my gyrations of trying to get ready for An Evening with America to make a Flustered Friday post. If I have time.  I may start it now and finish it after the concert.  I am pausing not so much because I am dedicated to making my blog post right this minute (I AM dedicated to making my post, of course, just not necessarily right this minute), but for the sake of sitting in front of a fan and cooling off for a minute before I attack the wardrobe problem again.

As I have often observed, it is not easy being me.  My weight loss goals seem further away than ever — and I thought I was being so GOOD this week: no candy, no cookies, no ice cream! A lovely blouse I purchased recently, after trying it on to be sure it is not too tight in my upper arms, turns out to be, you guessed it, too tight in my upper arms.  As well as elsewhere.  I bought it recently, and according to the scale I have not gained weight since then, but….  Maybe my scale needs new batteries.

To make matters worse, I started hot flashing.  I can’t wear leggings!  I can’t wear a camisole under that white shirt!  I can’t wear that black top!  I can’t wear anything!  AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH!  Oh, OK, I did not scream.  I just came downstairs to, as I said, cool off.  Sitting still in front of a fan is quite effective for that.  I highly recommend it.

I see I am over 250 words.  That, by my convoluted rules for myself, is respectable, especially for a Lame Friday Post.  I hope your weekend is beginning more smoothly than mine.  I shall post further updates as events warrant.


My Own Dress Rehearsal

While I was working today, a song came to me.  It is to the tune of “The Volga Boatman.”

It’s just Tuesday (Uh!)

It’s just Tuesday (Uh!)

Time is dragging, worries nagging,

Happy Tuesday.

The fact is, I was quite anxious to get through my work day and get to Second Dress Rehearsal for Leading Ladies tonight.  First Dress went very well, and a number of nagging little details are now taken care of and off my mind.  Not ALL the nagging details, mind you.  Good heavens, I’m not a miracle-worker, I’m just a community theatre director with a full-time job and a silly blog.

I was heartened by the fact that although time was passing slowly, it was passing.  And you can tell me all you want that there are always sixty seconds per minute, sixty minutes per hour; many of us are convinced that some of them have more.

Work day finally over, I returned home to disaster, self-induced as most of mine are.  I foolishly decided to try on the little purple dress I had hoped to wear opening night to give my curtain speech (YES, and go out for drinks after the show, do you have a problem with that?).  The thing is, I have been getting so hungry lately. I snack on fruits and vegetables, lunch on salad, and try to be sensible for breakfast and dinner.  This is not natural behavior.  And the fact is, you have to do it EVERY DAY or it is not very effective.

So here we come to the ugly truth about me, and what an apt expression that is!

I really should have known better.  I purchased the dress five years ago then stupidly gained weight.  I have lost some of what I gained, but you never shrink back to the same shape.  Full disclosure:  I haven’t lost all the weight, either.

Part of me says I should now be happy it is only Tuesday.  I still have Wednesday, Thursday and part of Friday to lose more weight!  Most of me knows, however, that this is a crock of shit.  I’d best give away that little purple dress to some skinny chick that will appreciate it and go shopping for some plump middle-aged lady garments.

It is really no great matter, after all.  I stand on the stage for a very few minutes for my curtain speech and for the 50/50 raffle after intermission.  I am certain I can find a frock suited to my current shape.  In the meantime, I have written a whole silly blog post on my wardrobe and waistline ills and given very little update on the play.  Let’s just call it a Bad Attituesday and drive on.  After all, I have a rehearsal to get to.


That Little Purple Dress

So this is the third time I’ve put pen to paper attempting to write my blog post ahead of the time I type it into the computer.  I still don’t have a clue what to write.  I suppose it is still All Leading Ladies All The Time, but I think I’d rather talk about me.

As director, one of my jobs is to give the curtain speech before each performance.  I welcome everybody, tell where the fire exits are and introduce the show.  It is a classy touch for the director to dress nicely for this.  Oh dear.

I know I have spent many blog posts on my wardrobe ills.  When dressing for anything other than work, I struggle over What To Wear.  What fits this week?  What would look good?  How is the weather going to behave?  Will I be over- or under-dressed (regarding style OR weather)?  I know some people do not agonize over these decisions and, oh, how I envy them.  Then again, do they ever have the utter satisfaction of finding the perfect outfit after great effort?  Oh, they probably have it more often and without effort.  I can’t worry about other people!

With opening night just over a week away, my concerns are coming to a head.  When the production was just a blip on the horizon, I had big plans to become small. You see, there is this little purple dress I purchased in 2011 and have never worn.  Wouldn’t it be delightful to give my opening night speech looking all hot and awesome in a little purple dress?

I have not tried on said dress so have no idea how far off I may be.  However, I am trying to take off weight.  Having no time for  exercise (I know, that makes me TOO busy), I have been concentrating on eating less.  I’ve heard where eating less without exercise will lose you more weight than exercise without eating less.  I must say, I find exercise more fun.  I mean, I like fruit, I like salad, but…


There, I’ve said it.  That was as far as I wrote earlier today on my lunch hour.  Now I am frantically typing prior to hurrying to rehearsal.  I did not eat the potato chips.  Yay me.