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It’s a Non-Sequitur, It’s a Memory, NO, It’s Lame Post Friday!

Full Disclosure: I’m writing blog posts ahead this week. We’re going away for the weekend, and I don’t want to worry about getting up extra early on Friday or finding a computer on Saturday (the only full day we’ll be gone) (oh dear, I hope nobody made a note of that and intends to rob my house) (well, if you do, please clean the bathroom while you’re there, it’s disgusting) (and anybody that just said “TMI” to that last bit, Shut up! You know I hate that expression!).

Where was I? Ah, yes, this will be either Non-Sequitur Thursday or Lame Post Friday. I’ll decide when I type it into the computer. As you may have guessed, this post is a silly one.

When I registered at the Superhero Sprint on Saturday, they gave me an itty bitty box of candy, maybe an inch long, half-inch wide, quarter-inch deep. It had the Incredible Hulk on the outside and said it contained Candy Sticks.

I put the box in my purse and did not think about it again till the other day at work, when I happened to notice it. Now, I like to say I don’t see the point of candy that isn’t chocolate. That is not really accurate, of course, but I’m sure chocolate lovers see my point. Furthermore, I am trying to cut down on sweets (for me that is easier than cutting back on salty treats and deep-fried yumminess). I asked my friend Karen if she wanted them.

“What are they?”

“I know know; it says Candy Sticks. I thought it might be good if you needed that little sugar boost.” For my own sugar boost needs, I generally rely on hot chocolate out of the machine or substitute caffeine.

Pause for PSA: Kids! Don’t use artificial stimulants!

Back to the blog: Karen opened up the box and we peeked at the candy sticks.

“Why, those are candy cigarettes,” I exclaimed. “Remember candy cigarettes?” Not being worried if she dated herself in front of me, Karen nodded.

They weren’t exactly candy cigarettes, because they didn’t have the red food coloring tip (probably made with red dye number whatever that caused cancer). Still, the resemblance was striking.

“Think of it,” I said. “For years, all those candy-cigarette-making-machines stood idle, because it wasn’t cool to sell candy cigarettes any more. Then somebody got the idea, ‘Hey! We’ll make candy STICKS instead!’ And all those machines got used again!”

I don’t know if Karen was similarly struck at the thought or if she just likes to laugh at my nonsense. But I thought the whole story was good enough for a silly blog post. Candy cigarettes! What a blast from the past!

Ooh, I just realized, I could save this post for Monday, when it could be a Middle-aged Memory. But, no, I think I will use it for Lame Post Friday. For one thing, I’m too tired to write up and type in yet another post.

Have a nice weekend!

Superhero Tabby

When we last left our heroine… usually that’s me, but this time it’s my schnoodle, Tabby (when we last left me, I had my wrist to my forehead, but let’s not dwell on that). I was saying, when we last left our heroine, Tabby, the superhero dog, she was on her way to the Superhero Sprint, accompanied by her arch-nemesis, the Evil Woman CinCin (do I need to tell you that’s me?).

For anyone just tuning in, The Superhero Sprint is an event sponsored by Herkimer Now, a committee whose aim is to revitalize Herkimer, NY, starting with Main Street.

I talked on Saturday about getting on my Evil Woman CinCin outfit (arrow back if you’re curious; I’m too lazy to do one of those ping back things). Registration for the Sprint was at ten by Basloe Library. We left our house between quarter and ten of. I always get nervous about being late for these things.

As I walked down the sidewalk, it occurred to me that I was a middle-aged lady wearing a homemade super-villain costume, walking with my little dog. It might be appropriate or at least understandable, I thought, to feel just a little self-conscious. Then I thought, if anybody gives me a funny look, I’ll just say, “What? You never saw a super villainess out for a stroll with her arch nemesis?” Alas, I did not get the opportunity to say that line, but I could not resist sharing the thought.

A nice little crowd had already gathered at the library, mostly families. Now I felt a little self-conscious, attending such an event on my own. I knew I should have borrowed a small child for the occasion. Well, Tabby would have to do. I chatted up a few people and enjoyed looking at all the costumes. Quite a few people petted Tabby, so she was a happy dog.

Eventually a DJ started playing some tunes. I would have liked to dance but felt it would be making myself undesirably conspicuous. An adult Joker was dancing with a very young SuperGirl, and two other super girls danced together. I don’t think Tabby wanted to dance; she was looking around for more people to pet her (she found some).

When it was time for the race to start, Concerned Citizens went and stood in the middle of the blocked off street. Some of them had signs that said things like “Biff!” and “Yikes!” The Villain, who was rocking an awesome fake mustache, ran the course first, a simple down and back on the one block. The heroes were to pursue him, stopping at tables along the way. From the American Legion they got a flag, from the police department a D.A.R.E. sticker, and from the fire department a water balloon with which to ultimately vanquish the Villain.

Tabby had pulled me across the street to sniff a promising tree near the fire department guys. I had seen the box of water balloons and gotten a little nervous. I was in a villain costume, after all.

When the runners took off, I asked Tabby if she wanted to run with them. She declined. We retreated to a safe distance from the water balloons and watched the fun. I don’t know who played the Villain, but he certainly had a good sense of humor.

After the Sprint, the kids got gift bags, and prizes were awarded for the best costumes and by drawings. Granola bars, apples and bottled water were available. Tabby and I had some water. I had foresightedly put a small bowl for Tabby in my fanny pack. She drank a little, mostly to be polite, I think. I offered some to the only other dog there, who seemed happy to take a drink too. We did not win a prize, appropriately enough because, costume notwithstanding, I was there as a spectator.

It looked as if everybody had a good time. I’m glad to see the Superhero Sprint become an annual event. Perhaps next year I will participate as a volunteer. Maybe they’ll let me hold the sign that says, “Yikes!”

I Get Super

Yesterday, I dithered between the Sitrin Stars Run/Walk, the Superhero Sprint, or neither one. The Sprint won. Despite the name, it does not qualify for a Running Commentary. However, a few words about my gyrations getting ready may prove amusing, at least to me (in some cases, it is permissible to please yourself, because then you know at least one person will be happy).

The Superhero Sprint, for anyone just tuning in, is an event sponsored by Herkimer Now, a committee whose aim is to revitalize Herkimer, NY, starting with Main Street. The Superhero Sprint is a fun, family friendly event. Tabby and I enjoyed it very much last year. I had hoped to participate this year.

Last year, I was a super villainess, The Evil Woman CinCin. I made my costume: I bought some fabric paints and painted a giant C and the words “Evil Woman CinCin” on a pink t-shirt. Last year’s Sprint was on a sunny day in August. The black capes I have in my Halloween collection (well, doesn’t everybody?) were clearly ineligible for someone with my heat and sun sensitivity, so I pinned to the t-shirt a rectangle of sheer, spangly blue and silver material I bought for another Halloween costume many years ago. A pair of Steven’s shorts completed the outfit.

This year, I realized I had no idea where the t-shirt and cape were. My vacuum cleaner was wearing them, but naturally we have had occasion to vacuum since August (even in a house with mostly hardwood floors). Steven didn’t know where it was either, although naturally I accused him of hiding it (he usually hides my things right where I left them) (sneaky!).

Today is a cloudy, gloomy day. I thought a black cape might be OK, and I further thought I would be able to find a black cape in the attic. If anybody asked, I could always say my real outfit was at the cleaners. Um, I doubted anybody would ask, but one likes to be prepared.

Found the black cape. Also found a small red cape I thought might work for Tabby. Last year I couldn’t find that but put a large, velvet Christmas bow on her. That worked; why shouldn’t a superhero dog wear a velvet bow instead of a cape? This year I couldn’t find the bow (anybody see a pattern here?) (if so, you do not need to point it out to me, thank you).

I still wasn’t sure about this, but I like to support Herkimer Now. Then I thought of one last place to look for the Cincin shirt. Eureka! Success! Now I was in business. Since it is cooler this year, I put on my long johns with pink and blue flowers. A pair of light blue shorts would look nice with them. Then I came across a white handkerchief with pink trim. Since I am as usual a little sniffly, I thought this was a good accessory. My only regret was that I don’t know where my pink Converse high-tops are (what a surprise).

The little red cape didn’t work on Tabby, so I fixed her up with a light blue bandana, unrolled and tied around her neck, it looked like a cape. After stocking my fanny pack with poop bags, I looked up to see Tabby biting and pulling at the bandana, now twisted around in front of her, trying her doggy damnedest to get it off. So much for my future as a doggy costume designer. I tied on a little neckerchief the groomer have her some time ago. She was OK with that.

I was a little regretful about the fanny pack, which the shirt was not designed to accommodate. However, I had poop bags and a little Rubbermade container I thought I could pour water into later, if Tabby was thirsty. I was pretty sure they would have water at the Sprint, and I do not want a dehydrated doggy.

So there we were, Tabby the super if capeless schnoodle (yes, I did see The Incredibles and know the practical objections to capes; that’s a whole other blog post), ready to head out the door to the Superhero Sprint. Tune in tomorrow, when Cindy says, “Come on, Tabby! Don’t you want to run with the other super heroes?”

I Dither

As I contemplate the upcoming weekend, I feel fairly certain of making the wrong decision.

Last year I participated in the Superhero Sprint sponsored by Herkimer Now. I was a supervillianess, The Evil Woman CinCin, arch nemesis of The Tabbiest, which is, of course, the super alter ego of my beloved schnoodle, Tabby. This year’s Sprint is this weekend.

Also happening this weekend is the Sitrin Stars and Stripes Run/Walk to raise money for Sitrin’s Military Rehabilitation Program. I had said I would walk with my friend Sherry from Curves. Sherry is a real Curves success story. She has lost a tremendous amount of weight and really turned her health around. Her doctor raves about all the improvements she has made.

One of the goals Sherry set for herself when she started at Curves was to walk a charity walk. One reason she picked this one is to walk for her Uncle Leo, a veteran. She has gotten a whole team together.

I had originally hoped to participate in both events, thinking the Superhero Sprint would be in the afternoon, as it was last year. But no, both events are in the morning.

And so I dither (I know, always go with your strengths). I lean toward the Sitrin Walk, in the first place because I told my friend long ago I would walk a charity walk with her.

Also, how can I put this, it is more the middle-aged lady thing to do. Of course, not everybody on Sherry’s team is a middle-aged lady. However, I believe the average age skews higher than the Superhero Sprint. The Superhero Sprint, to be honest, is really more for little kids and their families. Of course, Tabby substitutes as a kid for me, but you see what I mean.

Also on the negative side for The Sprint is that I have no idea where my Evil Woman CinCin outfit is. It is not something I had other occasions to wear.

On the positive side for The Sprint, it is local. Tabby and I can walk to the starting line. I’m not even sure where SUNYIT is (I think it’s at SUNYIT).

I was lamenting my dilemma at work, but the only advice my co-worker gave me was to do what I wanted to do. That was no help, because at this point, what I really want to do is stay home and work in my yard. And go running. Not to mention at least three rummage sales in the area. Oh dear.

I’m thinking whatever I decide to do, I’ll probably be able to get a blog post out of it.

For more information on the walk, here is Sherry’s website: www.crowdrise.com/sherry-2013sitrinsstarsandstri/fundraiser/sherrythompson. For more information on the Superhero Sprint, you can visit Herkimer Now’s Facebook page.

Super Sprint

For those of you just tuning in, this is a continuation of yesterday’s post about the Superhero Sprint sponsored by Herkimer Now, a group working to revitalize downtown Herkimer, NY. It took place last Saturday, Aug. 25.

I had planned to walk from my house to the event. Tabby was happy enough when I got her into harness and leash. However, once out on the driveway in the hot sunshine, she just stopped and looked at me. That’s what Tabby does when she does not want to walk any further.

I tried to encourage her, but she was having none of it. What to do? I did not see how I could go without her. After all, she was the superhero. I was only the villain-cum-hapless-sidekick. I knew Tabby would add a lot more to the event than I would.

“Should we take the car?” I asked. She seemed to like the suggestion. I went back into the house to get my purse and car keys. Tabby pulled me right up to the car, proving she understood what I said.

I found a parking space half a block from the registration table, which was in front of the court house. Tabby didn’t seem to want to walk even that far, so I carried her. Once we got closer to people, she was a lot happier to be there. Tabby loves people. Almost everybody wanted to pet her, which of course was perfectly fine with her.

After signing in and paying my two dollars, we wandered over to the shade of Christ Episcopal Church, where other people were congregating. There were lots of kids and their parents, mostly dressed in Halloween costumes. I noticed a preponderance of Batman (and girl), but there was an adorable Supergirl in a wagon holding a Spiderman stuffed toy, and a beautiful little redhead in a filmy green costume with lots of leaves. I’m not sure who she was, but I’ve mentioned I don’t read comic books or even go to the movies very often.

“I should have borrowed a kid,” I said.

“That’s your kid,” a lady said, referring to Tabby. I knew I had been right to bring her.

One girl had on a t-shirt with peace signs.

“I’m Peace Woman,” she said.

“Your superpower is Not to Fight,” I said.

“Sometimes to not fight is really hard for me,” she said.

“Oh, to not fight is hard for all of us,” I assured her. I thought it was a great superpower and was glad I was not the only original character there.

One woman had on an impressive Cat Woman outfit, complete with enormous spike heels.

“I would not advise sprinting in those,” I told her.

“I can barely stand in them,” she confided.

“Well, you look terrific,” I said. She really did. I couldn’t rock that costume if I stayed on the South Beach Diet for the rest of my life.

Eventually we all lined up in front of the court house and a lady with a microphone got things started. She asked for a cheer from all the superheroes, then went on to thank some real life heroes who had made donations for the event. She also gave a shout out to those other real life heroes: policemen, firemen and EMTs, some of whom were present.

“And I want to thank the villains who have called this temporary truce,” she continued. Cat Woman and a woman in a leafy outfit similar to the little redhead’s were standing near a fabulous red convertible, trying not to look suspicious.

Suddenly the truce was called off! Leaf woman grabbed the lady with the microphone and pulled her into the convertible. They sped off down Main Street. The superheroes had to sprint to the rescue!

Tabby hurried down the street with the rest of them, not, much to my surprise, stopping to sniff at anything. At one point one of the littlest superheroes needed rescuing; I heard somebody crying for Mommy. But for the most part everybody loved it, participants and spectators who watched from the sidewalk.

At the end of Main Street, we were offered hot dogs, cotton candy and popcorn. Tabby pulled me through the open door to Collis Hardware. I was happy to follow and enjoy a little air conditioning. The lady behind the counter said it was OK for a dog to be in the store and even came out from behind the counter to pet Tabby. A man in the store asked if she was a pit bull.

“Just an ordinary attack dog,” I said.

He said he was just kidding. I told him how Jim Parker at the Ilion Farmer’s Market says she’s a vicious attack dog because she shows her teeth.

I returned to the sidewalk while they drew for prizes (I didn’t win) then made the long trek back up Main Street to where I was parked. In cooler temperatures and ordinary clothing it does not seem so long. I felt a little self-conscious being in my costume not surrounded by others in costume, but nobody seemed to mind.

We drove back home and reverted to our normal personas. I think the Superhero Sprint was a resounding success. Everybody there seemed to have a great time. I’m sure I’m not the only one who hopes it will become an annual event.

What All the Cool Villainesses are Wearing

Yesterday (Saturday) was the Superhero Sprint, sponsored by Herkimer Now, a group looking to revitalize downtown Herkimer, NY. I am completely behind that mission, so if I can help by looking foolish and having a few laughs, I definitely will.

Two days before the event, Steven and I went up to our attic and looked through some of our Halloween stuff. I easily found my big black cape, although I was skeptical of how comfortable that would be in the bright sunlight. Also, it looked a little vampirish. Then I found a large rectangle of blue and silver shimmery stuff and a piece of filmy white fabric. I could not find the small red cape I thought Tabby could wear, but I found a Christmas bow I could attach to her harness. I figured she would wear that without too much complaint and it would at least be costume-like. The rules stated all participants must be in costume, but I was sure they would use a generous definition of the term. Besides, who would tell a cute little dog she couldn’t run?

Steven preferred the blue and silver material for my cape. He said I could use the white, “But, remember, that’s the bowling pin’s Halloween costume.” Well, what does your bowling pin wear for Halloween?

I took a large pink t-shirt and drew a big C on it with fabric pen. I took another color and wrote “Evil Woman” over it and “CinCin” under it. I found a pair of shorts to go with it. Maybe real super villianesses wear tights (I’ve seen pictures), but perhaps they have a higher tolerance for eighty degrees in the sun.

My hair was more problematic, because it is growing out and has reached that annoying in-between stage where you can’t really do anything with it (I’ve been wearing a do-rag to work). Finally I put a headband on, then fastened to that the large white flower I wore a few weeks ago to the H.A.L.O. Luau Party. Pink running socks and blue running shoes completed my ensemble.

I pondered my eyewear for a moment. Generally when I run I wear a pair of old plastic glasses I got for cheap specifically for the purpose of running. Still, I didn’t think I’d be running very fast for this event. For one thing, I didn’t think Tabby would want to. And that sun was bright. I put on my purple prescription sunglasses. I thought they went with the outfit. I slathered on lots of sunscreen and put a couple of Tabby poop bags in my pocket. I was ready to go.

And I think I’ll sign off here, because I see I am over 400 words. Not a huge amount, of course, but I think I’ll find a LOT to say about the actual event. Stay tuned.