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Tag Archives: stress

Words Are Not Forthcoming

I thought of that title earlier, when I was working on a letter to a friend.  I feel it is quite pathetic to be unable even to write a letter.

Eventually I turned to a new page in my notebook (yes, a spiral-bound paper notebook with a pen) and actually wrote something.  One word followed another and I soon had almost a whole page, front and back.  Was it any good?  I can’t tell.  What I can tell is that I need to get a better grip on this novel I am allegedly writing.

Full disclosure:  I am having difficulty in maintaining my grip at all these days.  Yesterday at work I spent a good part of the day telling people I was at the end of my rope.  A poster back in the ’70’s (it may have been an Argus poster, remember those?) said that if you get to the end of your rope, you should tie a knot and hang on.  I think you should swing.  It is fun to swing on a rope.  Or, if you are feeling vindictive, you could make a noose and go after whoever drove you to the end of the rope.  Just to threaten!  I am not recommending murder!

Well, that brings me over 200 words.  I’m going to call it Wuss-out Wednesday and drive on.  I am still working on the post about my Virtual Boilermaker 15K.  I trust eventually words will be forthcoming.


Have I the Heart for a Tired Tuesday Post?

OK, second attempt at making Tuesday’s blog post on Tuesday (whatever my WordPress timestamp may say).  I logged on earlier but felt overwhelmingly sad.  The moment seems to have passed.

As you may have guessed,  I did not follow yesterday’s note to self and write my blog post while on breaks at work.  I had the notebook out (the spiral bound paper kind by the way), but nothing doing.  I did some writing eventually, but nothing to share yet.  Never mind, I will make a Tired Tuesday post.

At the risk of upsetting the HIPAA police, I mention that I went to the cardiologist this morning for a stress test.  I was quite stressed by the time I arrived.  Driving in Utica, NY can do that to anyone, but I get especially uptight when I am worried about getting somewhere on time.  And it is stressful leaving from and returning to work, for reasons too tiresome to relate.

Anyways, the test itself went fine, although I felt quite self-conscious being naked from the waist up, not to mention the discomfort of walking and jogging without a bra (do NOT tell me TMI!).  I had to laugh when I was lying on my side while a technician took “pictures” of my heart.

“I feel like I’m getting a boudoir photo taken,” I said.

It took me a while on the treadmill to get out of breath.  Let’s hear it for running!  The technicians were also impressed by how quickly I got back into heart-picture-taking position when I got off the treadmill.

The really bad part came next, when they hooked me up to a heart monitor that I have to wear for 30 days.  That may be worth a blog post all its own!

In the meantime,  I am closing in on 300 words. Not bad for thinking I wasn’t even going to post till tomorrow morning.


“Shapewear” Is So A Word, Computer!

Breathing is not overrated.  That is what I tell myself at times like this.  You see, when I get stressed, I forget to breathe.  Then I take a deep breath and it’s like, “Oh yeah, oxygen.”

When I was in the army learning how to run, and I ran into difficulties (see what I did there?), I would tell myself, “Breathing is overrated.”  Eventually I learned how to run and breathe, but first I learned how far I can actually run while gasping and choking in a most unbecoming fashion.  However, this is not a post about running.  I would probably feel a good deal less stressed if I had taken the time for a short run or walk.  However, that ship sailed, to resort to cliche (it is less of a cliche if you point out that you are using a cliche; another technique is to add the word “proverbial,”as in “that proverbial ship has sailed.  Then you sound all self-aware and post-ironic) (but I digress).

Another deep breath, which I need after that last paragraph.  I am working through my last-minute fluster attack before leaving for dress rehearsal for Morning’s at Seven, the play I am in at Ilion Little Theatre.  I believe I have mentioned it once or twice.

After work, and a convoluted drive back to Herkimer, due to congestion and construction, I stopped at the store to get the pantyhose and underwear I mentioned earlier.  I am a little worried, because the only pantyhose (they are, in fact, tights, but let us not quibble over semantics) in the color I wanted (off-white) were control top. YES, I have a top to control.  However, when I attempt to do so, I experience extreme torture for very little result.  What a cruel hoax shapewear is!

And look at me, 300 words and I’m not late.  Yet.  Happy Thursday, everyone.

I wonder if wine is overrated.



To Blog or Not to Blog

Today’s mantra is, “Less stress.”  I have very little reason for stress.  OK, that’s a polite fiction I am telling myself.  The fact is, we all have reasons for stress, and stress is not always a bad thing.  However, since this is not Lame Post Friday, I will not philosophize (half-bakedly or otherwise) on stress.  Instead I will attempt a moderately amusing Non-Sequitur Thursday post.  I think I’ll use pictures.  I think Steven may have downloaded a couple of new ones…

I am NOT saying, “To be or not to be.”

This is LiFT rehearsing The Tempest at 120 London Bridge,  Caroga Lake, where we will perform on Saturday at 6 p.m.  It is a donation-based performance. I’m not sure what the suggested (or requested) donation is.  It is a lovely space to perform in.  Incidentally, I am the one in yellow tights, Acting (yes, it needs a capital A).  The photo was taken by Matt Powers, our director.

I missed him on TV!

Recently, Matt went on NewsTalk on WKTV to talk about LiFt and Shakespeare.  This is not what he will actually wear in The Tempest (he has two roles), but I think it was quite a theatrical choice for publicity purposes.

I’m not sure who took this photo; it was on LiFTs Facebook page.

To include three photos, as I like to do, here is one from early days of rehearsal, at Sterzinar Park, Canal Place, where next weekend’s performances take place.  I’m the one center stage, looking fairly ridiculous in the big old hat with a sweatshirt tied around my waist.  I tied on the sweatshirt not because I had tied one on (sorry; just had to make the play on words), but because I wanted something to put my sword through.  We had just started working on them.  I have a better looking sword holder now.

Performances of The Tempest in Little Falls  include Aug. 10, 6 p.m., Benton’s Landing; Aug. 12, 4 p.m., Sterzinar Park; and Aug. 13, 3 p.m., Sterzinar Park.  For more information, check out LiFT’s Facebook page.


No Laughing Matter! Or Is It?

OK, major panic attack just now.  I have about a half hour before my ride to rehearsal gets here.  That’s rehearsal for The Tempest with LiFT Theatre Company, in case you did not know or had forgotten.  I personally have forgotten most of my lines, the ones I reliably knew, at any rate.

So it’s Wuss-out Wednesday!  I actually started writing an awesome blog post while on breaks at work today.  Or perhaps I flatter myself.  You can judge for yourself, if I manage to finish it and post it in the next day or so.  Oh, I am so STRESSED!!!

And, as always, being a big baby about everything.  The fact of the matter is, I do not have to publish a blog post every day.  This is a purely self-imposed deadline and onus.  I know, some of you wish I would place a further onus on myself to write a GOOD blog post every day.  Well, ha ha on you, because this is as good as it gets!  Or is that no laughing matter?

This is the most incoherent post yet, I think.  But I have no time to fix it.  I need to get all my costume pieces together for rehearsal.  How complicatedly these Elizabethans dressed!  So many parts!  I will try to bring my Tablet to tomorrow’s rehearsal and take some pictures.  Today I fear I am too distracted by my own foolishness.  Some of you are thinking that tomorrow will be no different.  Indeed, I will probably be just as foolish.  But, as they say, I gotta be me.

I hope to see you all on Non-Sequitur Thursday.


Not the Same as Be-Bop

I think I am suffering from some form of anxiety.  Or do you suppose that’s just hypochondria or self-dramatizing?  Well, why wouldn’t I self-dramatize; I’m all into theatre, you know.

This is going to be a Non-Sequitur Thursday post.  I am going to just let my thoughts jump all around everywhere, type up what I can, think of a silly headline, and hit Publish.  I feel this is better than than taking a Blogger’s Sick Day, which was my first impulse (I think stress is as legitimate an excuse as a diagnosable physical ailment) (and isn’t “diagnosable” a word?  My computer seems to think it is not) (I can’t go get my dictionary now, that will only add to the stress).

Where was I?  Nowhere in particular, I suppose.  I spent most of the day at work pondering various plans for getting done all that I wanted to do before tonight’s pick-up rehearsal for Steel Magnolias at Ilion Little Theatre.  I formulated and discarded numerous scenarios, then came home and sat down going, “Heh-bee-be-buh-buh.”  You know, that sound you make when you just kind of fiddle your lower lip in wordless distress.

Me without words?  SAY IT AIN’T SO!!!

And, obviously, it is not so.  I am just over 200 words.  Score!  I call that a blog post!  Maybe I can come up with something better tomorrow, on Lame Post Friday.  After all, stranger things have happened.


Wrist to Ruby’s and Beyond

It is a later than usual Wrist to Forehead Sunday post, and I really do face a dilemma as I contemplate the upcoming week.  That is, should this blog become All Steel Magnolias All The Time for the next two weeks, or should I first indulge in a week of All Rubbed Out at Ruby’s All The Time or do a weird hybrid such as All Steel Ruby All The Time?

We just got home from another rehearsal for Rubbed Out at Ruby’s, the interactive murder mystery to be presented by LiFT Theatre Company at the Overlook Mansion in Little Falls, NY.  I can report that it is looking good, especially considering the costumes people wore or brought.   I think it will be a great deal of fun.  I only hope I can remember everything.  It’s not my lines I’m worried about.  I don’t have that many lines; it’s mostly improvised.  But I don’t want to forget a prop or costume piece.  I’m so scatterbrained these days!

I have not thought much about Steel Magnolias today; that is, the next production at Ilion Little Theatre, to be presented the first two weekends in March.  This means I must do some serious looking at lines tomorrow.  I hope I don’t forget to bring my script to work with me (see earlier line about being scatterbrained these days).

And what about the other murder mysteries I’m working on?  Well, I’ll bring my notebook to work with me, too.  Write, study lines, I can do it all, why not?  And if the stress gets to me, I guess I’ll just have a Wrist to Forehead Monday, too.  I hope everybody is having a nice end of their weekend.


Pre-Rehearsal Wuss

Oh crap, look at the time!  My ride is picking me up for rehearsal in about 25 minutes.  I can’t get my blog post done plus find the props I still need, brush my teeth, put my shoes on, look over my lines again, eat a pickle, finish my iced coffee, look at Facebook again… and remember all the other stuff I thought I could do.  Oh, and pet my dog. He just walked over from his end of the couch, and I think that is what he wants.  One must pet one’s dog, after all.

Luckily, this is Wuss-out Wednesday.

The thing is, I wrote a blog post today.  I had written most of it yesterday with the thought that I would also type it in when I typed in yesterday’s post.  Then today I would only have to hit “Publish,”  so I would have time to run.  However, yesterday I also did a load of laundry and made a salad.  Was that not ambitious of me?  I finished the post while at work today.  Then I amused myself by writing a brief synopsis of a possible sequel to Much Ado About Nothing (you know, the play I’m in).

When I got home today, after I took the dog for a business meeting (it was too short to call it a walk), I went running.  I wanted to write a Running Commentary post, but that is just not going to happen.  Anyways, first I had to eat, drink an iced coffee, and check my email.  Then answer my email, which I had to do twice, because I didn’t do it right the first time, and I still haven’t answered all the emails I am supposed to.

Good grief!  The only good thing is, I now have over 250 words of this nonsense and I  am going to hit Publish.  Maybe I can write another blog post about what else I accomplished from my list in the first paragraph.  Happy Wednesday, everybody.


Lames Away!

I did say it was going to be Lame Post Friday, didn’t I?  And here I am, ready to lame away!  Not really.  I’m sitting at work, which is not air conditioned by the way, writing in my beat-up spiral notebook and wishing I had a cryptogram puzzle to solve instead.  Well, maybe not instead.  Maybe as a warm-up.  When I was much younger and had to tear myself away from whatever book I was reading to work on whatever novel I was writing, I used to do a puzzle to clear my mind between the two fictions (oh, I like that phrase, “between the two fictions”).

My mind could use some clearing.  I have had quite the bear of a week and it is not over yet.  The fact that most of my chores have been fun things that I chose to do does not take away from the inherent stress of having too much stuff to do.  The reflection that other people have to do way more stuff than me adds guilt and self-loathing to my troubles, as I add “Beat self up for complaining so much” to my to-do list.

Last night members of LiFT Theatre Company had a great deal of fun presenting a few scenes from Much Ado About Nothing to attendees of Little Falls’ Third Thursday.  We got some good laughs, especially when we forgot lines.

Tonight I plan to march in Ilion’s Doodah Parade with other members of Ilion Little Theatre.  That means I have to hurry home, walk my dog, take my shower, make my blog post, eat something, get into my costume and be ready by 5:15.  I’m not just planning how to get all this done, I’m scheming how to get it done early so my friend and I can sneak in a quick wine tasting at Valley Wine and Liquor before the parade.  Ah, add another thing to my list:  Check Facebook to see if Valley is having a tasting (although they almost always do on Fridays) and contact Kim to see if she’s into it.

What a long list I’m getting.  Perhaps I should not add “Beat myself up for complaining.”  Hey, I bet I’d save even more time if I actually STOPPED complaining.  As the Gene Wilder character said in Young Frankenstein: “IT!  COULD!  WORK!”


What Would Sarah Siddons Do?

And it’s back to All Leading Ladies All The Time with this week’s Non-Sequitur Thursday post.  I’m calling this a non-sequitur because I am writing a blog post about the play on the night when I do NOT have rehearsal.  I want to take tonight off, sit on my couch, crochet and watch true crime shows.  First I had a few show-related chores.

I made phone calls, I sent emails and Facebook messages.  I could do a few other things but I think I’m done.  I may have mentioned how stressed out I’ve felt lately.  I have so much to do and I am not getting enough sleep.  I am a huge baby about not getting enough sleep.  I’d call it my beauty rest, but some yahoo will make an unkind remark about there not being enough sleep in the world (you know who you are).

However, last night I got a boost in mood thanks to my cast and crew.  We spent the first part of rehearsal trying on and discussing costumes.  My cast is being just wonderful about it.  I didn’t hear any, “I don’t feel my character would wear this” or “I can’t wear anything like that”  or just plain “YUCK!”  They tried stuff on.  It fit or did not.  Other cast members were beyond helpful with suggestions of where we can possibly borrow more pieces, even going so far as to seek out the lenders themselves.   I find that so wonderful.  I’m used to hearing, “Well, you can ask this one or that one,”  often a good suggestion but I am so NOT good at asking people for things in addition  to being quite pressed for time.

When we got down to rehearsing, everybody seemed to have a marvelous time.  I love how the characters are developing, and I am delighted with how the players are reacting to each other.   My favorite part of acting is reacting!

After we got home from rehearsal, I went straight to bed.  It was not until this morning that Steven told me how a couple of cast members were on Facebook  remarking about how much fun they were having.  What a timely reminder for me!  Of course there is a lot of responsibility to being director.  I have a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in.  Stress is inevitable.  However, why am I doing this?  Because it is FUN!

Whether this was a particularly fun blog post about it, I shall leave my reader to judge.  As for myself, I have a baby afghan to knit and an episode of Snapped to watch.  Tomorrow it’s back to rehearsal, after making my usual Friday Lame Post.  I hope to see you then.