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Macabre Memories on Bad Attituesday

I think I have not had a Bad Attituesday post in a long time (at least I have not categorized it a such, or I would have found one on the search I just made).  That is good new for me, because today I have SUCH a bad attitude.

I don’t know if I shared this memory before, but when I was in fourth grade, I had a hard time learning how to spell Tuesday.  I blame my teacher, Miss Pomilio, although ultimately of course I take responsibility for my own education.  For one reason, I did finally learn how to spell the damn word.  No thanks to that old biddy.

Miss Pomilio was roughly 512 years old.  I heard that every year the principal, Mr. Perillo, talked her out of retiring, because she was such a good teacher.  By “good teacher,” I believe they meant she was very strict and did not take any garbage from fourth graders.  I mostly remember how she seemed to love to tell stories that involved people dying.  For example, to really bring home the lesson of the importance of reading signs, she told the story of a guy (for some reason I remember picturing a bald old man, but I don’t recall if she specified any such details), who dived headfirst from the high dive, completely neglecting the sign that said there was no water in the pool.

“And the doctors picked him apart, but he died,” she said.  She also told us that if we didn’t poop for a few days, we would die.  “Try it and you’ll die.”  In later years I wonder if she really did invite us to try it or if that is an invention of my macabre memory.

Getting back to Tuesday, it was a spelling word one week.  When Miss Pomilio said the word, in that frighteningly solemn tone teachers use for spelling tests, she pronounced it, “Teeooosday.”  I mean, she used a really distinct EEEE and OOOO.  As if she was TRYING to get us to spell it wrong!  To this day, whenever I spell the word Tuesday, I have to say in my head, “Two-EEZ-day.”

And thus my bad attitude began.

Just kidding.  I’m sure I have always had a bad attitude about some things at least part of the time. The rest of the time, I try to be cheerful.  My motto is, “You can laugh or you can cry; you might as well laugh.”  I made it up myself.  Now I have typed myself right out of my bad attitude, and I away Wednesday in a reasonably happy state of mind.


What’s In a Lame?

Get it?  Like “What’s in a name?”  I came up with the title after I wrote the following:

No, this is not my date for Friday night.

I didn’t have any bright ideas for this week’s Friday Lame Post, but when I was on Facebook, somebody on one of my monster movie pages shared this picture of Max Schreck as Nosferatu.  I immediately downloaded it, and you know my motto (one of them, anyways): waste not, want not.

Incidentally, every time I mention Max Schreck, I have to look up the spelling of his name.  I feel certain I am getting it mixed up with a certain green ogre voiced by Mike Myers (another name I must look up).

“What do you mean, you’ve never seen the movie?”

Shrek.  That is how the ogre spells it.  And it’s Myers not Meyers, Mike not Michael.  I guess Michael Meyers is the bad guy from the Halloween movies.  Full disclosure:  I have never seen any of the Shrek movies, and it comes as no small disappointment to me to find out it is spelled differently from Max Schreck.  I’ve heard the Shrek movies are full of pop culture references.  I think a reference to an iconic silent horror movie would have been nice.  Perhaps they did mean it as a reference but changed the spelling.  If I was a real cinema writer, I would research these things (and once again, we come to the ugly truth about me).

“No, I was not a regular on Saturday Night Live.”

I just looked up Halloween, the movie, and found that Michael Myers spells his name the same way Mike Myers did.  I’m glad we got that cleared up.


Pop Goes the Lame Post

I seem to remember doing a not too contemptible post while waiting for my husband to get me ice cream.  Today he is bringing me popsicles, which apparently I do not know how to spell.

Popsickles.  popsikles. pop sic cles.  Oh dear. popcicyles?  The box just says “Assorted Pops.”  What a way to weasel out of that one!

It is Lame Post Friday, and I am not going to take any more of that pain medication!

Now is when I greatly regret every Blogger’s Sick Day I’ve ever taken.  Who knew I would one day feel worse?  Oh, I know, YOU probably did, you just know everything, don’t you?  Incidentally, that popsycle was not the miracle cure I was hoping for.   Still, it didn’t taste too bad.

I don’t mean to be so tiresome, going on about my woes.  In fact, I begin to glimpse the light at the end of the tunnel.  Few bad things last forever.  I would say nothing bad lasts forever, but it is a well-observed phenomenon that bad things have greater staying power than good things.  Heeeeyyyy!  I think that counts as a random observation AND half-baked philosophy, which, regular readers may recall, are my favorite components of Lame Post Friday.

And it got me just over 200 words. Score!  I call that good.  If only I knew how to spell popcicle, my life would be perfect.