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Tag Archives: not writing

My Halloween Socks Are Clean

A few minutes ago, I thought to myself, “When in doubt, eat ice cream.” I thought it would be a good lead for a blog post, but it seemed ominously familiar.  Once I finished the ice cream, I looked and sure enough, I once made a blog post with exactly that title.  And pinged back on it two more times.  This will be three.

Full disclosure:  It was frozen yogurt and I realize that, even so, it is a poor way to work toward my weight-loss goals.  In my defense, allow me to explain, “Shut up.”  (That is a joke I proudly borrow from S.J. Perelman.)

I just took a break from blogging and looked for S.J. Perelman on Facebook, to make sure I spelled his name right.  I ended up reading part of a Paris Review interview with him.  Then I realized the Friends re-run that was on next was not one I wanted to see, so I got up and changed the channel to 20/20 on OWN.  As you may guess, I am not particularly focused today.  On the brighter side, I am in a much better mood than I was yesterday.

I did a very little writing earlier, on a letter to a friend.  As I always maintain, any writing counts.

Steven just now reminded me that I have laundry in the washer.  Oops.

The laundry is in the drier, except for the items I hang up to dry.  Now, having skipped around in true Non-Sequitur Thursday fashion, I am going to sign off.  I just remembered I was going to paint my toenails tonight.

 

No Boot Straps on Wuss-out Wednesday

I am having the damnedest time writing and have for the longest time.  I think to myself, “I love to write!”  But all I want to do is puzzles, primarily cryptograms with a few others thrown in.  I thought to myself today, this is a symptom of depression:  you like to do something, you know it will help you to do it, and you don’t do it. What the hell, me?

The thought came into my mind, “People who have not experienced it cannot understand the mind-numbing, paralyzing, utter inability…”  I don’t remember how the thought ended, but I immediately felt I could not put such a thought into a blog post.  Nobody would buy it, I thought.  They will tell me to stop being such a whiny baby, and maybe they are right.

I am going through a few things, but let’s face it: We all have problems and many people have far worse ones than mine.  As I have mentioned before, I suffer from depression.  I don’t like to write it or say it, because it sounds like I am asking for sympathy or making an excuse.  And it feels as if I have exposed something private and secret I would really, really rather not talk about.  Some people do not “believe in” depression.  They feel it is a made-up problem and I need to just stop whining and pull myself up by those boot straps they’re always talking about.

Only I rarely wear boots and the ones I have don’t have straps.

Then again, not whining is not a bad start.  I cannot pull myself up by my bootstraps (and what a hoary cliche that is, anyways), but there are things I can do to make myself feel better.  I will try to do some of them.  For example, starting on a better blog post for tomorrow.  We’ll call this one a Wuss-out Wednesday and drive on.

 

Run But No Commentary

After a break at work, I often observe the “after the break hump,”  a metaphorical speed bump I have to somehow get over in order to get back to work.  Today, I said to my co-worker, “After the break hump is nothing compared to after four days off hump.”  I know, I can be happy I had four days off or miserable because I had to go back to work.  Or I suppose I could multi-task.

Be that as it may, I came home from work and went running.  As you can imagine, the “I haven’t been running in I can’t remember how long hump” is quite the obstacle as well. However, I faced it and overcame it.  One help is that I have really missed running.  I have been WANTING to run but haven’t had time.  As you may have heard, I’ve been in a play.  And am writing and performing in murder mysteries.  The play still has a weekend to go, and I’m still working on two of three mysteries.  Nevertheless, I ran.

And now I’m too tired to write about it.

It was a short run, only 22 minutes.  I made up my mind to do 20, as a start, since I have not been running in a while.  Twenty minutes with an eight to  ten minute cool-down walk around the block sounded good to me.  The extra two minutes just sort of happened.

Then again, for Tired Tuesday after a four day break, I don’t think this is such a contemptible post.  Let’s see what happens tomorrow, when I may have a Wuss-out Wednesday.

 

One Of These Plays…

You know, like “One of these days…”  I thought it was an acceptable play on words.  What else can I do on Wuss-out Wednesday but play a little bit with words?  Yes, Wuss-out Wednesday follows Tired Tuesday as inevitably as… as inevitably as I begin a simile and can’t think of a good way to finish it.

I tried to write a blog post while at work today, but it was only another I Can’t Write a Post post, and I thought, why am I writing such a thing in advance?  Should I not be composing at the keyboard at such times?  So that is what I am doing.

We are doing complete run-through on Steel Magnolias, last night, tonight and tomorrow.  We must be in full costume by Monday, but the director would be delighted to see costumes any time between now and then. With that in mind, I put on the skirt I think will do for me in Act I Scene 1.  I purchased a jacket I think will coordinate with it last Saturday at New 2 You Consignment Shop in Ilion (perhaps you read my blog post about it).

Regarding the rest of my costumes… I’m working on them.  Quite frankly, I thought I had more stuff than I in fact do.  Oh dear, I suppose some of my cast-mates might read this and they will look sternly at me when they see me in.. yikes, less than an hour!  At least I looked over my lines today.  And other people’s.  I learn my own lines first, so for the first couple of rehearsals off book I sometimes say them at the wrong time.  How embarrassing.  Other actors learn their lines and where those lines go at the same time.  I’ll have to try that one of these plays.

 

The Vagaries of Non-Sequitur Thursday

Well, now I’ve done it.  I sat here stressing over the fact that I CAN’T WRITE A POST TODAY (said in a dramatic voice, with a wrist to my forehead), and my sweet husband, Steven said that he wished I would not put myself through posting every day.  I said, “It’s just because I have rehearsal tonight.  I just have to stop doing PLAYS!”  Oh yeah, like that’s going to happen!

Thus adjured, I put my fingers on the keyboard and started typing.  I can’t stop posting every day, it’s what I do.  But I can’t let my husband feel upset because I am stressed.  So, as of right now, I am not stressed.  About the blog, at least.  I mean, let’s start small.

I just paused to eat a very delicious dinner that Steven fixed.  He really is a most satisfactory husband.

Earlier today I was pondering the vagaries of writing.  I have been having a difficult time lately, but earlier I sat down and wrote a page of dialog with very little problem.  It was part of Rubbed Out at Ruby’s, the interactive murder mystery LiFT Theatre Company is presenting at the Overlook Mansion in Little Falls in — yikes! –just a couple of weeks.  I thought to myself, “I can’t write, I can’t write, I can’t write, I sit down and write.”  For some reason I can’t just skip to the last step.

I just know that some of you are sitting there smirking, “Well, have you TRIED?”  Yes, I have.  In fact, most of the time I want to have at least a couple more rounds of “I can’t write, I can’t write” before “I sit down and write,” but I somehow manage to write.  Like right now.  Then again, perhaps that is not the best example, since this is just another of my foolish posts about I Can’t Write a Post Today.  Then again (I can have as many “again”s as I want; it’s not like “on the other hand,” where most of us only have two hands), today is Non-Sequitur Thursday.  If I can think of a punchy headline, I’m all set.

Hope to see you all on Lame Post Friday.

 

Steven and Me and Bobby McGee

I’ve been sitting here staring at the blank screen and half watching a re-run of Reba, and I feel completely unable to write a blog post.  Now Reba is over and Steven has found an episode of Snapped on Reelz.  I have to leave for rehearsal for Steel Magnolias (at Ilion Little Theatre, remember?)  in about an hour.  Oh, crap, and I have to curl my hair.  They’re taking head shots again.  I hate having my picture taken!

So I’m having a kind of a mental meltdown.  How embarrassing.  I am such a huge baby! In my defense… OK, I have no defense.  I had a migraine today, but it wasn’t all that bad of a migraine.  I made it through work.  It kind of went away when I drove to New Hartford for a doctor’s appointment.  Now it’s back.  So what?  Many people have headaches.  They take an aspirin and drive on.

Speaking of driving on, the Mohawk Valley weather has been living up to its “wait five minutes” reputation today.  When I drove to and from my appointment, the snow came down like it meant business.  The roads weren’t too bad, but they were wet and no doubt would get worse.  Yikes!  I got back to work and the sun came out.  A beautiful afternoon!  Swell!  The snow dumped down again as I drove home. OK, whatever.  The sun has come and gone twice since I’ve been home.  Go home, February, you’re drunk!

AAAAAAaaaand I just remembered: it is Non-Sequitur Thursday.  All I have to do is think of a catchy headline that doesn’t have anything to do with this foolish post and I’m done.  And, yes, I did feel I needed all those a’s in the first word of this paragraph.

 

Typing… About… Writing…

Must… get… blog… post… written.

You know, like in the comic books?  I don’t read a lot of comic books, but I know there is often a frame with the hero going through something dire and saying he must… do… something…  I find that perfectly appropriate for Wrist to Forehead Sunday.

I truly am feeling very wrist to foreheady this afternoon.  For anyone just tuning in, wrist to forehead refers to the old timey heroines about to swoon.  I stole the expression “wrist to forehead” from a former co-worker.  I think I made the pose and she said, “It’s a wrist to forehead situation.”  I know I have explained this before, so my apologies to longtime readers for being redundant.

The reason for my current angst is that I am having the damnedest time writing.  Yesterday I managed six post cards and a blog post.  I have other things to write!  What the blankety-blank is my problem?  I know, I know, I have to just sit down and bloody well do it.  Well, I am.  The first thing I have to write is today’s blog post.  And here I am, typing away at it (as Truman Capote famously said, and as I have previously quoted, “That’s not writing, that’s typing”).

And I see I am over 200 words.  That is all I require of myself for a blog post.  Self-indulgent, you say?  That could be.  Then again, I am not burdening my readers with too long of a post.  I don’t always read the really long posts myself.  Oh dear, any bloggers reading this who make really long posts might take offense at that.  Then again, you never know. Maybe I read all of THEIR posts, and it’s the BORING long posts I give up on.  I hope nobody has given up on me.  That would really be a wrist to forehead situation.