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25-Inch Lame

Can I make my Lame Post Friday post on Friday? I intend to try. But first, can I just point out that my Tablet’s predictive text thingy is very inconsistent? It used to be, when I typed in “Lame,” “Post Friday post” was automatically suggested. Tonight it was not. Then again, “used to be” is a pretty useless thing to say. When somebody else says it, I usually say, “I used to have a 25-inch waistline. Things change!”

Incidentally, it is true that I once had such a small waistline. I do not expect to have one ever again, which will be all right with me. I have other things to worry about.

My waistline was never this small.

I thought I would throw in a picture to pep up the post. This is our skeleton Bonita and her friend Bonaparte. She is dressed n her last year’s summer outfit. She has not dressed for summer yet. Maybe this weekend…

One of my many summer outfits.

I share this picture to show me in the same headband as Bonita’s, not to emphasize my lack of 25-inch waist. I am at Fratello’s Pizzeria in Frankfort, NY, I add in order to give a brief shout-out to a local business.

I see I am over 200 words. Yay! I’m going to call it a blog post and go back to enjoying my Friday.

I Was Gonna Make Espresso!

Alas, it seems I can’t get through the week without missing at least one blog post. Yesterday I just couldn’t do it. I am not sure I can do it today, either, as I sit on my couch sipping chamomile tea and wondering if I shouldn’t call in to work. I am suffering stomach problems but do not wish to burden you or gross you out with details.

The sad thing, to me at least, is that I managed a half hour walk when I first got up. I used the Map My Run app on my phone (it isn’t just for running, it turns out) (and I still feel a little weird using a 21st century word like “app”) and shared the results on Facebook. Won’t that be a little assymetrical, going for an ambitious (for me) walk then missing work? Come on, chamomile tea! Be a miracle cure!

In the meantime, I am afraid this will have to do for my Thursday post, or rather my excuse for not making a Thursday post. Hey, it’s kind of a lame excuse, and here we are on Lame Post Friday! It! Could! Work!

Side Note: “It! Could! Work!” is from the glorious Mel Brooks movie, Young Frankenstein. If you have not seen it, do.

P.S. It Is also a Non-Sequitur Thursday Post.

So I Slacked

I try to make a very quick post as I watch the charge on my Tablet go ever lower. It probably will not be be a very good post, although I am not the best judge of these things. I mostly want to make an apology for not posting on Saturday (since I counted the post I made yesterday morning for Friday). We’ll call it a Slacker Saturday Post.

I only wrote post cards to my weekly regulars, nobody extra, and I wrote them later than I usually do. As a matter of fact, shortly after I made the blog post, I went back to bed and took a morning nap. I enjoyed it.

When I took my walk, it started to rain. Just a little mist, really, so I kept going. For one reason, I had to mail my post cards. My Garmin (actually a friend’s Garmin which he nicely loaned me) told me I walked a faster mile than previously, 20:53 yesterday, 23:39 last Sunday. I have to be careful about walking fast, because I easily give myself shin splints. I try to concentrate on walking heel to toe. That is what an army friend told me she did.

And that was the extent of my usefulness yesterday. Today I am getting a jump on being at least marginally more useful by putting in laundry in before getting on the Tablet. I mention it here to remind myself to put the clothes in the drier soon.

Now I see I am over 250 words. Score! Regarding the depression I mentioned yesterday, I have found that sometimes completing a blog post is also an anti-depressant.

Where Was I on Saturday?

So I missed Thursday, posted lame on Friday, then missed Saturday. Right down the line, I did better earlier in the week than later. Not that I did so hot earlier last week, now that I think about it. I guess I have set the bar for myself kind of low.

Anyways, here I am, lounged on my couch on Sunday morning, pecking in one letter at a time with the stylus, trying to make some post, any post, for reasons I feel unable to articulate.

Yesterday (Saturday), I went for a walk, since I still feel unable to run. Later, our friend Kim picked up Steve and me, and we went to the Pride festivities in Little Falls, NY. We enjoyed some musical performances from a few fabulously dressed Queens, and I purchased a rainbow fan.

Then we adjourned to Rock Valley Brewing, where we ordered drinks. After dithering with my phone for a few minutes, I just walked over to Mangia Macrina’s to get a wood-fired pizza. Previously I have ordered by text, but yesterday I was so indecisive, I thought in-person was a better way to go.

Returning to Herkimer, I remembered that there was a wine tasting at Valley Wine and Liquors, so we made a quick stop. I love wine tastings.

I realize that I could easily have made a Scattered Saturday Post when we got home. Instead, I watched a DVR’d episode of Svengoolie. In my defense, Vincent Price.

So here is my Saturday post, posted Sunday morning. Will I make my Sunday post on Sunday? A little suspense adds interest to my day.

Snapped, Svengoolie, and Still Sluggish on Sunday

I also watched Columbo, but it would not have been alliterative to use in the title. I am looking at another episode of Columbo as I type this (one letter at a time with the stylus; I really must get a new laptop), but I am more concerned to get this posted and get to bed. I like to go to bed early on a Sunday.

“One more thing!”

I went for a walk instead of a run again this morning. It occurred to me I could start doing Pedestrian Posts instead of Running Commentaries. Had I but thought to do that earlier, I could be paying more attention to Columbo now. This episode features quite the clever plan.

It’s been a favorite for years.

I have been more into movies than Snapped on Sundays lately, but today true crime called to me. I took a break to enjoy a DVR’d episode of Svengoolie. The Monolith Monsters. I find those old horror movies so fun.

I’m also a sucker for his corny jokes.

As you may guess from the desultory nature of this post, I am still feeling sluggish today. Oddly enough, I have not taken any decongestants, just some ibuprofen for my hip. Perhaps my chronic insomnia is catching up with me. But just listen to me whine about my aches and pains! I mean, don’t listen to me! My problems are all of the first world variety, and I will shut up about them.

In the meantime, I am approaching 250. I consider that more than adequate for a Wrist to Forehead Sunday post.

Sluggish, Stupid Saturday

I pick up my Tablet to make a Scattered Saturday Post, purely because I do not want to go a day without posting (counting the post I made this morning as yesterday’s), and I log on to WordPress to find that my last post got NO blogger love. I am such a Like junky, I find this rather devastating. But I tell myself it is a First World Problem and drive on.

There is not a whole lot to tell about my Saturday anyways. I mentioned earlier that I did not run. I had a headache so took a pill with a decongestant and pain reliever, and it made me feel rather sluggish. I was about to add that it made me feel stupid, but I have been feeling that pretty much all the time. Make whatever unkind remarks you like about me being stupid. There may be a joke there somewhere, but I am too tired to find it.

I did see my friend, Kim. We had lunch at Asteroga Ale House in Herkimer, NY. We went on to Pete’s Tavern for a drink but only stayed for one. Back home, my headache went away (finally) but I fear it is coming back. The sluggish, stupid feeling never left.

On the brighter side, I see I am over 200 words. I’m going to call that a win and go for a better blog tomorrow. As always, I hope you’ll tune in.

Lamest Fast Words

You know, like Famous Last Words. I may have used that title before. I could go back and check, but my Tablet is so slow and I am so lazy. Actually, lazy would make a slow Tablet OK, because I would be just sitting here waiting. As Inigo Montoya said, I hate waiting.

Where was I? Ah yes, making a late Lame Post Friday post. A nice reader commented that she enjoyed Lame Post Friday, then I inconsiderately did not make one the following week. Or was it two weeks? See above paragraph about going back and checking.

I got up earlier than I meant to (stupid insomnia), got dressed to go running, but walked instead. I apparently did something bad to my hip on last Saturday’s run. We may not see another Running Commentary Post for a while.

As I type lame words (pecking one letter at a time with the stylus, as you may have guessed since I mentioned the Tablet), I contemplate my Saturday. Will it be filled with Mohawk Valley Adventures? Will I blog about them? Will pictures be included? A little suspense adds interest to my morning.

I am feeling mildly pleased with myself, because I have posted every day since, correct me if I am wrong, Monday. Were they good posts? Let us not ask for miracles, but thank you for tuning in.

304 Lame Words

I have been missing days and days of posting! When I do nothing, I have nothing to post and feel bad about it. When I do something, I still do not post and feel even worse. What the hell, me?

I thought I could at least manage a Lame Post Friday post. For one reason, it is actually Friday. I know in the recent past I have made Lame Post Friday posts early Saturday morning, so I could congratulate myself that I am ahead of the game. If only I had posted more than once since last week. I could beat myself up about that.

But enough with the beating myself up (and why does autocorrect think “hough” is a word? That is what it put when I left the “e” off “enough”). It does not improve my behavior and it does not burn calories. Why does it not at least burn calories? Life can be so unfair!

This is becoming a rather ridiculous post, even for Lame Post Friday. Every time I make a post about not making a post, I worry that it will be worse than making no post at all. But how can that be? Nobody is obligated to read my posts. People can read it or not as they choose. However, nobody can read a post not written. So there’s that.

There is also this: if I want to be a writer, I need to write. Good posts, bad posts (Oh, what the hell, autocorrect? You change “bad” to “and”? Bad is a word!) (And “wod” is not, so why did you let that stand when I left the “r” out of “word”?) etc.

So here is my latest post, judge it however you choose. But I am approaching 300 words. I am going to call it a win.

Was It Something About Mice and Men?

My best-laid plans to return to daily posts are not coming to fruition. What is that quote about “best-laid plans” anyways? I cannot bring it to mind, if I ever even heard the full quote. But never mind that (although I could do a whole post about famous quotes and how they get mangled). I am just trying to make some post, any post.

I really have no excuse for not posting, other than my usual struggles with depression. I cringe a little when I type that (one letter at a time with the stylus on my Tablet, just to give you the picture). I am embarrassed to admit I let my depression keep me from doing things. I am embarrassed to admit my depression. What is depression, really, but me whining about how I don’t feel happy. What is my problem, anyways?

But, depression and other mood disorders are real problems for some people. Would I shame someone else for admitting they suffer from depression? I hope not. I hope I would encourage them to seek help. So while a part of me wants very much to delete the last paragraph, another part says, “No, let it stand. Admit you have a problem.”

Don’t all the self-help gurus say you should do the thing you fear? Well, I fear what my friends and family will think if they happen to read this post. Goodness, I just asked a co-worker yesterday if he still read my blog (he said, “Why? Did you say something about me?” I guess I just did). What if he reads this? Oh dear.

In any case, I see I am over 250 words. I think I will bill this as a Non-Sequitur Thursday Post. If only I had a good headline…

Blog Post to Nowhere

I think I can just about manage a Tired Tuesday Post. But no promises. How pathetic am I? Well, I will try not to whine too much. The fact that I am tired but attempting to blog ought to encourage me; on previous tired evenings, I have just said to heck with it and gone to bed. And I haven’t always said “heck.”

Hmm…. It seems no words are forthcoming. I am in my bed pecking away at my Tablet. I knew when I headed up the stairs that I had little idea what to post about. I trusted my meager brain to come up with something. Regular readers know, as I do, that sometimes it does.

I have been trying to write more during the day, before work, on breaks, even after work. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes not so much. Sometimes all I can do is reach for my puzzle book and work on a cryptogram puzzle. Sometimes all three things happen in rapid succession.

Some writers do not find writing to be so mysterious. They just sit down and write. I am tempted to ask their secret but on reflection, I fear they do not know what it is themselves. They would probably give me a scornful lecture on discipline and recommend me not to be such a lazy, whiny baby. I don’t need that; I can beat myself up, thank you.

Where was I going with this? I guess I was just hoping to reach 200 words, and I have. Thank you for bearing with me.