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Who Said I Could Have Lame Post Friday?

Lame Post Friday is supposed to be my ultimate take it easy day.  Random observations and half-baked philosophy.  Also, sentence fragments, in which I usually do not indulge.  Oh well, I guess sometimes.  Oh dear, now I’m out of control.  Subject and predicate, Cindy, subject and predicate (when I first learned these things, I felt “noun and verb” was kind of babyish).

Where was I?  Ah yes, trying to come up with a Lame Friday post.  A random observation:  I looked out the bathroom window at work this morning and saw lots of snow.

“Who said it could snow?”  I demanded.  Nobody would confess to such a crime.  Another lady observed that we had spent all winter praising its mildness.  Now we are getting the weather we should have had in January, when we were ready for it.  That easily leads to the half-baked philosophy that adversity does not seem so, well, adverse, if we are only prepared for it.

But is that really true?  I think if we had had lots of snow and ice in January we would have been crying about it then, too.  Of course, we could have comforted ourselves with the reflection that such weather was to be expected in January.  Would that have helped?

Oh, now I have done it!  I am asking hypothetical questions.  I HATE hypothetical questions!  I can’t tell you what I WOULD HAVE done in January if the weather WOULD HAVE been a certain way.  January is over; we had the weather we had (full disclosure: I don’t remember much about January except that I wasn’t drinking wine at the time).  Wow, I really tricked myself into that one, didn’t I?

However, I see that I am over 250 words.  I’m going to call that OK for a Friday.  If only I could think of a lame headline.  Happy Friday, everyone.

P.S.  It stopped snowing.



Hypothetically Blogging

I’ve got it! Monday Mental Meanderings. This is my new feature. It replaces Monday Middle-aged Musings, which I have mentioned I don’t particularly like. But who could dislike mental meanderings? Oh, I suppose somebody could. Well, that unpleasant hypothetical person does not have to read this.

Here’s a contradiction I just noticed about myself. I hate hypothetical questions yet I constantly have conversations with hypothetical critics. I say they are imaginary conversations (usually arguments) with people in my head (or is that conversations in my head with imaginary people?), but I’m pretty sure they are also hypothetical. Wait a minute. I was just about to embark on a diatribe against hypothetical questions when it occurred to me that I may have already published such a thing. A pause while I check.

A cursory check of past posts revealed nothing. So I continue. I hate hypothetical questions because they usually assume the impossible. “Your house is on fire. All family and pets are saved. You have time to go back and save one object. What do you save?” That’s RIDICULOUS! You don’t go back into a burning house and save one object! That’s asking for death! “Yeah,” says the questioner, “but if you could?”

“YOU CAN’T!!!” I repeat.

Then there’s my favorite (I can’t believe I never put this in a blog post before, but I don’t mind repeating myself): “If you could invite any three people, living or dead to dinner, who would you invite?” For God’s sake, I can’t invite three people who live in this town to dinner and count on them all being able to make it on the same night, never mind the Nobel prize winners or movie stars people usually answer this question with. However, my answer to the question is, “I would invite three dead people, because they wouldn’t eat too much. They also wouldn’t talk too much. It is a well-known fact that dead men tell no tales.”

BUT, one may argue, what if somebody asked you a hypothetical question that did NOT assume the impossible?

Waaaait a minute! Did a hypothetical person just ask me a hypothetical question? I just told you, Homey don’t play that!

Here is a non-hypothetical question: What does anybody think about Monday Mental Meanderings?

Let Me Know When You Perfect Time Travel

Today in lieu of my usual Wrist to Forehead Sunday, I offer a little half-baked philosophy which has been on my mind today.

A Facebook meme posed the question: if you could say something to your 20-year-old self, what would it be?

This is the kind of hypothetical question that gets on my nerves. YOU CAN’T SAY ANYTHING TO YOUR 20-YEAR-OLD SELF! That person no longer exists and we do not have access to time travel. The asker will say, “Yes, but what if you could?” YOU CAN’T! What is the point in talking about it?

That is not a rhetorical question; I seriously want to know what one can learn from such a question. You can’t go back and not make the same mistakes (see previous paragraph that we don’t have time travel). It is unlikely one will face the same problems one faced when one was 20 (one could argue that point, I suppose, but I think one would be full of beans if one did).

Perhaps the point is to articulate what one has learned since one was 20. One can thus feel wiser and not just older (now there’s a feeling I would like to experience). More likely, some folks just find it fun to talk about such things.

I personally do not like that sort of discussion. It is a short step from looking back to regretting past mistakes. I HATE regret. It is an almost completely useless emotion. I strive always to move on from here.

One final thought: If time travel ever becomes feasible and one can in fact say something to one’s 20-year-old self, I suggest you do not bother. I would submit that very few 20-year-olds ever listen to older and wiser advice. I know I never did.