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And How Do You Feel?

And now, a few words about depression. I guess I should rather say a few more words, since I have written about depression before. I’m not even sure I will say anything new, but I ask you to bear with me.

Christmas is one of my favorite times of year. I love the music, the decorations, giving presents, watching yet another version of “A Christmas Carol,” everything. And it makes me feel even worse when I am emphatically not inclined to enjoy any of it. What the hell, me?

It is not a constant feeling of sadness, so I have that going for me. But it does intrude at odd and increasingly frequent times. In addition to being uncomfortable, it makes it difficult to get Christmas stuff, as well as general life stuff, done.

The worst aspect of it is feeling that I am nothing but a whiny baby. Why can I not simply feel happy during what some have called the most wonderful time of the year? What is wrong with me?

I have read that gratitude is the cure for depression. It is impossible to feel depressed, one popular women’s magazine opined, when you are feeling grateful. All I can say is, if it is that easy for you, you indeed have something to be grateful for.

As for me, I DO count my blessings. Often it increases my depression, because I start feeling like an ungrateful wretch for feeling depressed in the face of such blessings. And now I also feel like a dull, redundant blogger, because I am sure I have expressed these thoughts before.

Finally I fall back on a thought which had helped me before: sometimes you just have to feel that way until you don’t feel that way any more.

In the meantime, I wanted to make a blog post, because I have not made one in a few days. I’m going to file this one under Wrist to Forehead Sunday and hold out for the next wave of Christmas spirit. As always, I hope You’ll stay tuned.

I Need a Little Christmas

Christmas is just days away. I wore Christmas socks and a Christmas vest today. I listened to Christmas music as I drove to and from work. And yet the Christmas spirit eludes me. Perhaps I can chase it down with a few Christmas pictures.

I draw your attention to the little Christmas trees.

My sister Diane sent me a picture of her mantle via instant messenger. I was delighted, because she used the garland of crocheted Christmas trees I made for her some years ago. I invented the crocheted Christmas tree back in the mid 1980’s. I was pretty pleased with myself.

It is not as elaborate as when Steve does it.

I naturally sent her a picture of my own mantle. Full disclosure: we did not make a concerted effort with this. We just put stuff up as we found or acquired it.

Pardon the mess.

And this is our fireplace. Yes, that is fake poop on top of a pile of scripts on an old television. I just now noticed it. When I took the picture, I was more annoyed with myself about the bottles and jars I left sitting n the stool with the wine light. Not annoyed enough to clean it up and re-take the picture, I’m afraid.

Now I am laughing at myself. Here is my messy house, with Christmas decorations and fake poo. It’s not quite the Christmas Spirit, but it’ll do.

Foul Mood, Foolish Post

I am in a rotten, rotten mood, and it does not matter why. What does matter is that I cannot find a decent stylus so am attempting to post with one bad finger. No, it is not eligible for me to move to my laptop for ten finger typing. Again, it does not matter why.

One does not expect to be in a foul mood in December. One naturally expects to be filled with the Christmas spirit. It just feels wrong to be in a foul mood. Then again, that makes this perfectly eligible for a Wrist to Forehead Sunday Post.

So here I am, typing one letter at a time with my finger instead of a stylus. Does anybody else feel devoid of the Christmas spirit at odd times this time of year? Or even at all times? I don’t know about anyone else, but as soon as I feel I ought to be in the Christmas spirit, that is the exact opposite of how I feel.

Come to think about it, I was just thinking about how I ought to make a blog post. That would explain the foolishness of this blog post. On the other hand, I am at 200 words. That makes this respectable, even for a Wrist to Forehead Sunday Post. I hope my readers are in a better than foul mood.

We Can’t All Be the Grinch

My house is back online, just in time for Wuss-out Wednesday.  Instead of sitting at Basloe Library (a perfectly wonderful place to be, but I have to wear a bra and shoes ) I am lounged on my couch.  But it is still Wuss-out Wednesday.  My brain is dead.  My body is not doing much better, but my purpose is not to complain but to blog, possibly to entertain.  At least I may entertain myself.  That’s something.

Steven is watching The Year Without a Santa Claus.  Yay, Snow Miser and Heat Miser!  Did anybody here Big Bad Voodoo Daddy’s cover of their song?  An awesome rendition.  However, I have a few problems with this special.  I guess I could do worse for a Wuss-out Wednesday post than mention them.

A friend pointed out that the whole plot is a little shaky.  The two elves go in search of Christmas spirit so Santa will not take the day off.  Then the mayor says if it will snow, he will get all the mayors together and give Santa… the day off!  I gotta say what I say when confronted with a plot hole in a cheesy horror movie:  Waaaaait a minute!

My first problem happens before the elves take off, though.  Mrs. Claus has the wonderful song, “Anyone Can Be Santa Claus,” her first plan being to impersonate the fat man herself.  I quite frankly thought (the first time I saw it, and I still think it) that this is a marvelous idea.  Of course anyone can be Santa Claus!  All you have to do is give somebody something! EVERYBODY should be Santa Claus!  But, no, Mrs. Claus is shot down almost immediately.  SHE can’t be Santa Claus.  Only the REAL Santa Claus will do.

Now don’t tell me it would have been a shorter story if Mrs. Claus had just delivered the toys.  They could have  put in a lot of twists and turns if they had gone with that plot line.  No, I’m not going to write it.  If you can’t think of any twists and turns yourself, just take my word for it.

The biggest problem I have always had with this special is the same one I have with almost all the Christmas specials about Santa Claus.  Christmas = presents.   All I can hear in my head is Boris Karloff saying, “Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store.  Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

Well I won’t wax philosophical about that tonight (regular readers know that half-baked philosophy belongs on Lame Post Friday).   I’ll just enjoy the fun music and charming animation (so retro), while I ponder the Christmas spirit.  I hope you are all having a lovely December so far.

 

Put a Little Tinsel on that Tired Tuesday Post

You probably guessed I was going to have a Tired Tuesday post.  After all, All Christmas All The Time, stress over getting stuff done — I mean NOT getting stuff done — other ongoing problems that I keep boring on about… and I’m just usually tired on a Tuesday.  So shoot me.

As I struggled to get presents together, I remembered something:  I have all day Christmas Eve.  My only sticky wicket there (that is the first time in my life I have ever used the expression “sticky wicket”) is that I am spending all of Christmas Eve at my parents’ house.  I had originally thought I could help my mother with her last minute preparations (and by “help,” of course I mean sit around and visit).  I’m not saying I’m going to ask her to help me, but I do hope she will provide some moral support.

More importantly, do I have the Christmas Spirit?  Intermittently, yes.  In between setbacks such as remembering the laundry in the drier and noticing that the hour is approaching my bed time (no, I CAN’T stay up till all hours getting stuff done and still function tomorrow; I never could although I used to be dumb enough to try).

Be all that as it may (that is an expression I use quite frequently), I have typed in over 200 words (as Truman Capote said and I have quoted before, “That’s not writing, that’s typing”), and I consider that a post.  Happy Tuesday and Merry Three Days Before Christmas.

 

Lame Laugh on December 4

It is the bra off, sweats on, wine drinking,  blog post writing portion of the evening.

And it is Lame Post Friday.

As regular readers may have noticed, I do not always write my blog posts in sweats and no bra (ooh, I just flashed on that Most Interesting Man in the World,  “I don’t always drink beer…”).  Many times I write my posts while on a break at work.  Many times I do not specify how I am dressed when I post.  However, today I do not have a whole lot to post about, so I led with the setting.

Earlier tonight, Steven and I were at a notorious big box store which needs no plug from Mohawk Valley Girl.  I only mention it because it took MUCH longer than reasonably expected.  And I did not expect it to be short and sweet.  However, it was not too heinous, for which I have my Christmas Spirit and sense of humor to thank.  Or perhaps it was the tiny glass of wine I had before shopping (say it ain’t so!).

I am getting a little bit of Christmas Spirit. I have been listening to Christmas music on CD as I drive to and from work (I know, how 20th century of me).  I have been noticing and appreciating Christmas lights on people’s houses.  I have been planning Christmas presents (Naughty status of friends and family notwithstanding).

My sense of humor really kicked in, however, as the check-out line took longer than walking over the whole store for the stuff on our list.  Every cash register was frozen and the lines stretched further than the eye could see.  At long last we were leaving.

“And it’s only December 4th!”  I said.  I laughed all the way to the car.

 

A Little Christmas Spirit?

“Oh by gosh, by golly, it’s time for mistletoe and holly!”  My Dad used to sing that at Christmas time.  I thought he made it up. Imagine my surprise when I found out it was really a song.

Yes, I am having a Wuss-out Wednesday post.  I merely led with a Christmas memory in hopes that my readers’ Christmas spirit will lead them to forgive me and keep reading.  It’s not too early for Christmas spirit is it?  I like Christmas spirit.

It does not feel like December in the Mohawk Valley.  To me it is more like November, dark and gloomy with cold rain. Mind you, I like November.  I feel the gloom is part of its charm.

Steven put up Christmas lights on our porch today, finding time between precipitation.  He left them turned on all afternoon, because it was such a gloomy day.  So I got to see the porch lit up when I came home shortly before four.  It did not look as nice as it will when it is truly dark out, but I appreciated it.  I hope for some non-rainy evenings so we can walk around Herkimer and admire other people’s lights.

I confess, I am not entirely basking in Christmas spirit tonight. I am sad, because of yet another shooting.  So much BAD is going on in the world.  But I have nothing wise or insightful to say about it.  If I can think of anything remotely helpful to do about it, well, I will do so.  In the meantime, I shall hit publish before I bring everybody else down.  Hope to see you on Non-Sequitur Thursday.