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Category Archives: writing

I Think the Word was “Conflict”

It is Wuss-out Wednesday, and it is going to be a Wuss-out Wednesday blog post, and you can read it and enjoy it or ignore it.  You can do that as a reader.  As a blogger, I have to post (“The blog must go on!” I say in a dramatic tone of voice, posing in a half swoon, with one wrist to my forehead) (THAT’S IT!!! It’s Wrist to Forehead Wednesday! Damn!)

OK, now I’m getting silly.  I just searched WordPress blogs for Writer’s Block and find that I am not alone.  Oddly enough, not one of the posts I looked at claimed that “there just ain’t no sech animal” as Writer’s Block, a contention I have heard on many occasions (with or without the hillbilly wording).  They may have something at that, as I see I am over 100 words already.  It is almost never impossible to write SOMETHING.  But to write something good?  As Hamlet once emoted, “Ay, there’s the rub!”

I spent my breaks at work trying to work on a project which ought to have been done by now (I dare not tell you what project, because I don’t want people who know about it to know it is not yet finished) (in fact, already I’ve said too much).  I couldn’t do it!  I managed to write some notes, which is more useful than it sounds.  Then I started to write another note and completely blanked on a word.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT???  I asked myself.  Have I gone senile?  Is it early onset Alzheimer’s? Yes, I am a self-dramatizing fool (see wrist to forehead pose in the first paragraph).  I daresay I’m no stupider than I was yesterday (cue jokes about how that is quite stupid enough).   Still, it is upsetting when one cannot think of a word or even a reasonable substitute.

I think I like it better when I share pictures from monster movies on these days when I just don’t have a blog post.  I may do that tomorrow on Non-Sequitur Thursday.  As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

 

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Nobody’s Perfect

Likewise blog posts.

Yes, it is another post about How I Can’t Write a Post Today.  Or much of anything else.  However, I do have a fascination with writing about not writing.  By the way, I stole the above image from a Facebook page I follow called Writing About Writing.  The fellow that runs it writes a blog, but full disclosure:  I don’t follow the blog.  Come to think about it, none of the blogs I follow are about writing per se.  I wonder what that says about me?  To answer that would probably call for some half-baked philosophy more suitable to Lame Post Friday than Monday Mental Meanderings.

As you may guess by the plethora of lame posts lately, I continue to have difficulty with my writing.  Sometimes it is a question of just not sitting down and getting to it.  However, whenever I do sit myself down, it seems that nothing happens.  I know, one must persevere, and I will.  I’ll let you know as soon as I get some results.

I would like to share with you the actual projects I am having difficulties with.  However, that would be to advertise to the world how close I have come to the deadlines and nothing to show for it.  Oh dear, what if the people I am writing for read this blog?  I’m hard at work!  I’ve finished those projects!  Everything is great!  Not writing?  Me? You must be daft! I am prolific as the day is long!

They say you mustn’t worry what people think, about writing and everything else.  However, right now, the thought of people counting on me, feeling certain that I have written or am writing wonderful things for them… well, it makes me want to finish off this blog post and get back to work on them.  Writer’s Block?  Pshaw!  Never heard of it!

 

A Metaphor on Mental Meanderings Monday

As regular readers know, I have been having trouble writing lately.  This morning before work, I opened my notebook (for those just tuning in, the spiral-bound paper kind) and penned the following:

Once again I draw a metaphor between writing and running.  One one reason, I have not been doing enough of either.  In many respects it is a sound comparison.  Both can be difficult.  Both are wonderful when going well, painful when not.  You have to get through the painful parts to get to the good parts.

The most important aspect of either is:  You have to do it. You can’t just sit and think about it, although some thought is necessary.  It does not count just to by the best running shoes, socks and bras, nor yet a fine new notebook and perfect pen.  You can’t just stretch, and you can’t just make notes and outlines (I personally have never successfully worked form nor even completed an outline, although I am a prodigious note-maker).

I don’t know how much further I can go with this, but at least it got my pen moving.

After writing that much, I turned back a few pages and wrote a few more notes on the murder mystery I am writing for a fundraiser for the Herkimer County Historical Society (preview of coming attractions).  I know I said you can’t just write notes, but notes are a very important part of murder mysteries.  They are not just notes I write from.  They are notes I give the actors to help them build their characters and aid them in the improvised sections of the performance.  Just to give you a little peek into how these murder mysteries are put together.

I guess I don’t know if my little comparison between running and writing has any value to any other writers nor yet holds any interest for any readers.  However, it worked pretty well as a pep talk for myself, and I’m going to call it good enough for a Monday Mental Meanderings.  This blog is just about to go All Tempest All The Time, and right now, I have to get ready for rehearsal.  I hope to see you all on Tired Tuesday.

 

No Boot Straps on Wuss-out Wednesday

I am having the damnedest time writing and have for the longest time.  I think to myself, “I love to write!”  But all I want to do is puzzles, primarily cryptograms with a few others thrown in.  I thought to myself today, this is a symptom of depression:  you like to do something, you know it will help you to do it, and you don’t do it. What the hell, me?

The thought came into my mind, “People who have not experienced it cannot understand the mind-numbing, paralyzing, utter inability…”  I don’t remember how the thought ended, but I immediately felt I could not put such a thought into a blog post.  Nobody would buy it, I thought.  They will tell me to stop being such a whiny baby, and maybe they are right.

I am going through a few things, but let’s face it: We all have problems and many people have far worse ones than mine.  As I have mentioned before, I suffer from depression.  I don’t like to write it or say it, because it sounds like I am asking for sympathy or making an excuse.  And it feels as if I have exposed something private and secret I would really, really rather not talk about.  Some people do not “believe in” depression.  They feel it is a made-up problem and I need to just stop whining and pull myself up by those boot straps they’re always talking about.

Only I rarely wear boots and the ones I have don’t have straps.

Then again, not whining is not a bad start.  I cannot pull myself up by my bootstraps (and what a hoary cliche that is, anyways), but there are things I can do to make myself feel better.  I will try to do some of them.  For example, starting on a better blog post for tomorrow.  We’ll call this one a Wuss-out Wednesday and drive on.

 

The Vagaries of Non-Sequitur Thursday

Well, now I’ve done it.  I sat here stressing over the fact that I CAN’T WRITE A POST TODAY (said in a dramatic voice, with a wrist to my forehead), and my sweet husband, Steven said that he wished I would not put myself through posting every day.  I said, “It’s just because I have rehearsal tonight.  I just have to stop doing PLAYS!”  Oh yeah, like that’s going to happen!

Thus adjured, I put my fingers on the keyboard and started typing.  I can’t stop posting every day, it’s what I do.  But I can’t let my husband feel upset because I am stressed.  So, as of right now, I am not stressed.  About the blog, at least.  I mean, let’s start small.

I just paused to eat a very delicious dinner that Steven fixed.  He really is a most satisfactory husband.

Earlier today I was pondering the vagaries of writing.  I have been having a difficult time lately, but earlier I sat down and wrote a page of dialog with very little problem.  It was part of Rubbed Out at Ruby’s, the interactive murder mystery LiFT Theatre Company is presenting at the Overlook Mansion in Little Falls in — yikes! –just a couple of weeks.  I thought to myself, “I can’t write, I can’t write, I can’t write, I sit down and write.”  For some reason I can’t just skip to the last step.

I just know that some of you are sitting there smirking, “Well, have you TRIED?”  Yes, I have.  In fact, most of the time I want to have at least a couple more rounds of “I can’t write, I can’t write” before “I sit down and write,” but I somehow manage to write.  Like right now.  Then again, perhaps that is not the best example, since this is just another of my foolish posts about I Can’t Write a Post Today.  Then again (I can have as many “again”s as I want; it’s not like “on the other hand,” where most of us only have two hands), today is Non-Sequitur Thursday.  If I can think of a punchy headline, I’m all set.

Hope to see you all on Lame Post Friday.

 

Steven and Me and Bobby McGee

I’ve been sitting here staring at the blank screen and half watching a re-run of Reba, and I feel completely unable to write a blog post.  Now Reba is over and Steven has found an episode of Snapped on Reelz.  I have to leave for rehearsal for Steel Magnolias (at Ilion Little Theatre, remember?)  in about an hour.  Oh, crap, and I have to curl my hair.  They’re taking head shots again.  I hate having my picture taken!

So I’m having a kind of a mental meltdown.  How embarrassing.  I am such a huge baby! In my defense… OK, I have no defense.  I had a migraine today, but it wasn’t all that bad of a migraine.  I made it through work.  It kind of went away when I drove to New Hartford for a doctor’s appointment.  Now it’s back.  So what?  Many people have headaches.  They take an aspirin and drive on.

Speaking of driving on, the Mohawk Valley weather has been living up to its “wait five minutes” reputation today.  When I drove to and from my appointment, the snow came down like it meant business.  The roads weren’t too bad, but they were wet and no doubt would get worse.  Yikes!  I got back to work and the sun came out.  A beautiful afternoon!  Swell!  The snow dumped down again as I drove home. OK, whatever.  The sun has come and gone twice since I’ve been home.  Go home, February, you’re drunk!

AAAAAAaaaand I just remembered: it is Non-Sequitur Thursday.  All I have to do is think of a catchy headline that doesn’t have anything to do with this foolish post and I’m done.  And, yes, I did feel I needed all those a’s in the first word of this paragraph.

 

Monday Mental Muck

Well, I would have a Monday Mental Meanderings post, but my brain is mired in the muck (just to alliterate a little further).  Seriously, my thought processes seem to have slowed down almost to a halt.  In fact, they may be moving backwards.  Oh dear.

There.  I just took a break and read a couple of blogs. I don’t know how I thought that was going to help, but I thought it couldn’t hurt and it is the only chance I will have to read any blogs before tomorrow night.  I have rehearsal tonight.  I know, I know, it is not yet time for this blog to become All Steel Magnolias All The Time.  That time will come much closer to production, I hope.

Here is my problem:  I can’t write.

I know, I know, one must be merciless in the matter of mood (I think that is a quote, but I do not remember who said it.  I hope I do not have it exactly right as it might constitute plagiarism) (which some say is the sincerest form of flattery).  Well, here I am, aren’t I?  I’m at the keyboard, typing away and, as you can see, nothing very good is coming out.   Could this be Wrist to Forehead Monday?

Earlier today I tried to write.  It did not work out very well at all.  Not one word made it from brain to paper.   And you can clearly see not much brain is at work in the words I’m typing here.  This may be my worst post about I Can’t Write a Post Today yet (I’ve labeled some “Why I Can’t Write a Post Today” and some “How I Can’t Write a Post Today,” but I feel that today the how and why eludes me).