My Brain is a Lame Metaphor

I am not even going to apologize for making my Lame Post Friday post on Saturday morning. I have been missing a day here and there, and I feel bad about that. Apparently not bad enough to go ahead and post every day, but these things happen.

This morning I feel drained. We had a full day yesterday. We plan more shenanigans today. I am just now taking my first sips of coffee. I feel a glimmering of life returning to my body if not my mind.

The fact is, I have once again been having the damnedest time writing. I just squeezed that second paragraph out, wringing it from my brain drip by painful drip (side note: autocorrect made (“brain drip” be “raindrop.” I hate officious editors!). It also took some effort to make that a metaphor instead of a simile. I prefer metaphor.

Speaking of metaphor, here is a longtime saying of mine. When somebody says, “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar,” I say, “You catch the most flies of all with a pile of shit.” After they stop laughing, I say, “And who wants to catch flies?” Also, “Give me a metaphor, I’ll beat it till it screams.”

Well, that’s 200 words. Autocorrect made “200” be “00.” Everybody’s a critic!

Pre-Race Lame Post (with a Dull Title)

Yes, it is another late Lame Post Friday post. So sue me (just to say something different from “judge me”). I am lounged on my couch, pecking into the Tablet with the stylus (which I have managed not to lose too many times this week), listening to the rain.

Normally I would be thinking about going on my run by now (halfway through my second cup of coffee, by the way). It is not merely the rain which deters me this morning. This afternoon I plan to participate in the inaugural Iron Rock Run at Iron Rock Brewing Company in Little Falls, NY.

The event is a benefit for Little Falls Food Pantry. I made an additional donation when I registered, as I am sure many runners did. The race is directed by Rock City Runners, who also sponsor the Little Falls Turkey Trot and my beloved Reindeer Run 5K.

I confess to feeling a little nervous about the run. I feel I have not trained as well as I might have. Then again, one can almost always do more, often at the expense of something else one wants or needs to do. That will count as my half-baked philosophy for the day.

Additionally , I have a tendency on these runs to “leave it all on the track” (in the words of an admired drill sergeant in my past). I run harder and faster than I think I am capable of, especially at the end. I start my final sprint too soon and finish up making terrible noises with my breathing. I kind of make a spectacle of myself. I do not know if more training would prevent this.

Perhaps later I can make a post about the run. Or I may blog about hearing our favorite band The Posers at the Brass Tack in Frankfort. I was also carbing up, by the way.

Hey! It Is 200 Words!

I say it is not really Friday when I have to work on Saturday. However, all I can manage right now is a Lame Post Friday post. Because I have to go to bed soon to get up early for work. Ugh.

Here is an interesting grammatical phenomenon. “Because I have to etc.” is a sentence fragment. But if I take away the word “because,” it is a complete sentence. What kind of a messed up language is this, where by adding a word you make a complete sentence be a fragment? What’s that all about?

Unfortunately that is about all I have right now. No other random observations or half-baked philosophy come to mind. Say it ain’t so!

I have other things to blog about eventually. We went to a beer tasting at Beet Belly Bob’s in Ilion, NY tonight. Tomorrow we plan to participate in a 9/11 Memorial Walk in Little Falls, NY. Preview of Coming Attractions.

In the meantime, I think I will follow my recently adopted rule about not worrying if I do not reach 200 words for a blog post (my addmittedly arbirtary self-imposed rule) (ooh, admittedly arbiter is alliterative! Regular readers know I love alliteration). Happy Friday, everyone!

Svengoolie, Skeleton, and Another Late Post

I admit it: I did not try very hard to make my Lame Post Friday post on Friday. In my defense, and it is not a very good defense, I was having a fun evening with my husband. We watched Svengoolie (on DVR), we made silly jokes, we watched a Dateline (also on DVR).

He is fun, yes.

Remember that headache I mentioned yesterday morning? It came back with a vengeance, and I had a terrible day at work. However, I survived. When I got home, I felt much better. I sat on the front porch with Steven for a while. Was it the fresh air (Times Square) (I am almost incapable of saying “fresh air” without adding “Times Square”)? The good company? Relaxing after work? Or did the headache just get tired of tormenting me? I neither know nor care.

Now I sit luxuriating in the thought of a three day weekend, and the unofficial start of Halloween season. Oh, who am I kidding? I like to make Halloween last all year long!

Isn’t she pretty?

Regular readers know this is our skeleton Bonita in her summer outfit, accompanied by her friend Bonaparte. I wonder if she would like a Halloween costume or would prefer to go naked? Or is the proper expression “bare bones”? Discuss among yourselves.

At 3:37 (l)a(me).m.

Does that headline make sense? Should I have put “At 3:37 Lame M?” Discuss among yourselves.

Once again, I am late in making my Lame Post Friday post. Sufficiently lame, I trust. In my defense, I have no defense. In a possibly mitigating circumstance, it is 3:37 a.m. according to my laptop, which many consider the middle of the night. I think they are right. It is not my insomnia: I have overtime 5 to 11 a.m. today. Team player, I tell myself. I am a team player. Anyways, the money is nice.

Where was I? Nowhere in particular, I suppose. Here is a new thing: sometimes lately when I say, “Good morning,” I note the expression of the person I am talking to and add, “It is a wish, not an observation.” I thought it was funny.

Last night, Steven and I enjoyed a dinner of appetizers at Jamo’s in Herkimer, NY. We have been a little profligate about dining out lately. It is a combination of still being so happy we are able to and the desire to spend a little time in air conditioning. Oh, the humidity! (You know, like “Oh, the humanity!” Does anybody even remember that? I personally was not a witness, but I’ve heard about it.)

OK, it is pretty obvious I am only typing in words in order to post something, anything. I consider this legitimate, since I am still trying to be a daily blogger. As always, thank you for tuning in.

Lame Me Think

OK, this is not going to be a very good post, even for Lame Post Friday. In my defense, we just got back from Jamo’s in Herkimer, where we had a delicious dinner and a glass of wine, and right now I want nothing more than to sit in front of cable television and watch shows about true crime, Snapped right now.

I have been making a lot of bad blog posts lately. All I can do in apologize and try to do better next time. Oh crap, this is next time.

I have a number of possibilities for upcoming posts. I can look to the past, where we enjoyed Phil Arcuri at Fratello’s or The Posers at Mohawk American Legion, to name just two. Perhaps a Preview of Coming Attractions post would be in order.

Would a short post be acceptable, under the circumstances? I DON’T KNOW!!

Once again, I rely on the fact that today is Lame Post Friday. It is OK that I am as I am. We shall see what happens on the weekend. Always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

Pre-Posers Post

This is a posthaste post (an old-fashioned word you rarely hear these days, but I love the play on words). Steven and I are about to head out to the Mohawk, NY American Legion to hear our favorite local band, The Posers. They play music from the ’80’s and earlier. So danceable! So fun!

Steven may not be able to dance much; he is still not back to 100 percent. I said he can be like Jack Lemmon dancing with Joe E. Brown in Some Like It Hot, posing dramatically while I dance around him.

He’s so fine.

This is not the shot I had in mind, so you will have to use your imagination. They were doing the tango. I guess Steven and I are unlikely to tango tonight, but you never know.

Yes, this is a silly post. Luckily for me, it is Lame Post Friday. I’m allowed to be silly! I know, what is my excuse the rest of the time? I could expound upon how it is an empty exercise to offer excuses. That would entail some half-baked philosophy, in which I often indulge on Lame Post Friday. However, I shall not try your patience in such a fashion.

Let us call this, in addition to a Lame Post Friday post, a Preview of Coming Attractions. I will write about the good time I feel sure we are about to have. I also owe my readers a write-up of listening to Phillip Arcuri the other night. Lots of local music lately! Lucky us!

Post, I Must!

Since I have been missing blog posts lately with no discernible injury to the space-time continuum, I am tempted to forgo tonight’s entry. The problem with that is that I will forgo other entries, and the next thing you know, I am no longer a blogger at all. That may not be a huge loss to the blogosphere, but it will diminish the quality of my life.

It should not be a problem today, being as it is Lame Post Friday. Only it is not a real Friday for me, because once again I work on Saturday. A conundrum, to be sure. Or is it?

Yes, it is. I just looked in my dictionary (an actual book, not Google) and learned that a conundrum is a riddle whose answer involves a pun or just anything that puzzles. I do feel puzzled, but wouldn’t it be awesome if I could also think of a pun?

Hmmm… nothing is coming. Since I work tomorrow but not Sunday, will tomorrow’s post be a Post Lame Post Friday Post? I guess that is a play on words but not quite a pun. Well, what do you want from me anyways?

However, I am just about at 200 words. I’ll call that a win, lame or not. Happy Friday, everyone!

Run Interrupted

I don’t feel like making a Lame Post Friday post today, because I work on Saturday (YES, I am grateful to have a job and for the overtime! Sheesh!). I went running today, since I will be unable to run tomorrow morning, so I thought, maybe a Running Commentary Post?

It would be more accurate to say I tried to go running. Things seemed to be going pretty well at first, then about five and a half minutes into the run (I did not look at my Garmin at the exact minute), I wiped out.

One minute I was running along the sidewalk, paying attention to where I was going, so I thought. Then I was down. It is kind of weird. I seem to experience these falls in stages. There is an instance where I feel I might fall (with barely time to feel I could somehow prevent it), then I know I am unavoidably going to fall, then before I even internalize the knowledge, I am down and saying, “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

It hurt. Sometimes I can get back up and right back to running. Today I could not. I tried a couple of times. Then I gave it up and trudged, blood trickling down my leg in a couple of squiggly streams, several blocks home.

I stopped at a neighbor’s house for a little sympathy. He is a fellow runner and was setting up for a garage sale (tomorrow is Village Wide in Herkimer, N.Y.). He offered some first aid, which I declined (I was only a few doors from home), and comforted me with the fact that if you are going to run, sooner or later you will probably fall. I always feel better after I share my injuries.

And now I have shared my injury with my nice blog readers (I am taking it for granted you are all nice). I guess since I was limping after the fall, we could still call it Lame Post Friday.

The Name of the Lame

I thought I would attempt a Lame Post Friday post. I am feeling fairly lame today. For most of the day, my legs had that macaroni feeling. My brain, of course, is almost always of questionable usefulness. But one must persevere.

I thought the blog post I wrote this morning was not too bad. Or do I flatter myself? It doesn’t matter if I do. Flattery isn’t the worst thing you can do. Where was I going with this?

On Lame Post Friday I traditionally indulge in random observations and half-baked philosophy. I have actually observed very little today. I drove up through Ilion Gorge to work this morning, but I was listening to music and daydreaming. I paid enough attention to stay on the road, that’s all. I had an interesting drive through quite heavy rain, returning home from visiting my husband Steven at the nursing home.

I mentioned that my husband is currently in a nursing home, didn’t I? It is supposed to be merely a temporary stay. It would be a HIPAA violation to say more (have I the correct acronym?).

Well, this post certainly lives up to its name of Lame (YES, I mean “its” not “it’s”. “Its” is like “his” or “hers”; “it’s” only properly means “it is”). You’ll have that, at least with me in my blog. It matters not. I am over 200 words. I hope you will all tune in tomorrow, when I once again try for a better blog post.