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Category Archives: humor

Sorry, Shakespeare

I was so excited to learn that LiFT, Little Falls Theatre Company is going to do William Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour’s Lost this summer, I sat right down to read the play (actual lounged right down, because I was reading in bed). I decided on my first reading (I intend to read it at least three times before auditions) I would just read straight through, not pausing to check the footnotes and end notes (the edition I was reading has both). I felt comfortable with this decision, because half the time I look at the footnote and think, “I could have figured that out by myself.” Not that I am so clever (sometimes I think I am); it’s just that the footnotes are sometimes kind of condescending.

Be that as it may, I thought I would make a blog post about my impressions of the play on one quick reading. Full disclosure: I have actually started my second reading of it as I write this. Fuller disclosure: it is fun for me to write this sort of thing.

The play starts out with the King and some of his guys all taking an oath that they will study for three years with no women. The King is actually pretty mean about it, because he says he will cut the tongue out of any woman who comes into the castle. I guess that goes back to the age-old contention (mostly of men) that women talk too much (don’t get me started on that, because I will).

One courtier demurs, saying “Dat’s crazy talk!” But, you know, in Shakespeare speech. Apparently when he agreed to study, he didn’t realize about the no women part. But I guess he agrees to go along with it (who can say no to the king?).

Then there is this Spaniard, Armadio, I think his name is, who must be the comic relief, and he is in love with Jacquenetta. There is some funny stuff between Armadio and Moth, which I probably would have got more out of if I had also read the footnotes. Incidentally, I did read an end note which said “Moth” was pronounced “Mote.” Good to know.

Next the Princess shows up with her girls and some guy attending them. They have some dialogue about how beautiful the Princess is, what her girls have heard about the guys in the castle, some other stuff I missed (reading fast, remember?).

Eventually the King and his guys come out. The King tells the ladies they are welcome but they can’t come in. He wants them to go camp out in some field and he will visit them there. I guess that is not a strict violation of his No Women While I Study oath, but I personally am skeptical. The Princess is not impressed either, but she does not hightail it back to France as I would have done, or maybe to some other country with a friendlier, non-stupid-oath-taking king. Hell, she’s a princess; she doesn’t have to put up with this kind of cavalier treatment!

There follow a couple of scenes with the guys and girls together. I think the guys give the girls tokens then leave. I was feeling pretty tired when I read that scene so am not sure. I was more awake when I read the next scene, where the girls naughtily switch tokens and mask up (to disguise themselves, not due to COVID, or I guess the plague at that time) (and let us not once again go into how easy it is to disguise oneself in plays, movies or TV; let us just accept that it is so) (for one reason, this post is getting kind of long). It works like a charm: the guys come back and all make love to the wrong girl. This is not the sort of thing that would have amused me when I was dating, but then, nobody is writing a play about me.

The guys leave and comeback again and some other stuff happens (I’m sure it will look better on stage). Just when everybody is in a fair way to getting engaged to the right person, a messenger comes on to tell the Princess that her father is dead. Wait, what? i thought this was a comedy? What the hell, Shakespeare?

So all the girls tell all the guys (one at a time, so it takes a while) that they will marry them if they wait a year. Well, that only makes sense, really. A year of mourning, isn’t that standard? Still, it seems a lot to ask. Or is it? In the first scene, weren’t the guys all ready to forgo fun in the sack for thee years just to study? I don’t think anybody mentions the discrepancy.

Be that as it may, the guys all agree, and everything ends happily. I guess.

Nobody needs to tell me that I probably got it all wrong, but feel free to do so if you are so inclined. Remember, I plan on reading it three times.

Thank You, Media Library

I shall try for another Throwback Thursday Post, hoping for some cooperation from my Media Library.

A note of hope!

Here is a cheerful picture: a crocus in my yard in 2018. I had a few crocuses in my backyard, before the Monday/Tuesday nor’easter hit. Tuesday afternoon, after I took my walk, I spied a lone purple crocus in my front yard, defying the snow. I took a picture with my phone, which, alas, I am unable to share at the current time.

Scary tree?

Another view from 2018: Frankentree in our front yard. He is even bigger and more monstrous now, but there is considerably less snow.

Now this is a scary tree!

This is the tree which dropped a major portion of itself on the power line, causing the outage which enlivened (or made hideous) our Tuesday/Wednesday. Thanks a lot, tree! I always liked you!

These will cheer me up!

I usually content myself with three pictures, but I wanted to end with flowers. The daisies will not arrive for a while yet, but I hope they grow in a similar profusion when they do.

I guess some would say 2018 is not throwing back very far. Then again, sometimes last week seems a very long time ago and second grade feels like yesterday. What’s that all about? A question, perhaps, for Lame Post Friday. As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

No Power to Post

I did not post Monday, because I thought, how can I make a Monstrous Monday Post after sharing Vincent Price on Sunday. Oh, OK, I totally could have, I just didn’t. I thought I would be sure to post on Tuesday. Well, that did not work out.

Between Monday and Tuesday, the Mohawk Valley suffered a last (I hope) winter storm. When we got up Tuesday morning, snow was still falling heavily. The snowplow had been by a couple of times, filling in the end of our driveway, but the road still looked really bad. After much hesitation, I called in to work. Then the power went out.

It turned out trees were down everywhere, power was out in many places, lots of people missed work. Things kind of cleared up later in the day, and I took a walk, carefully skirting the fallen tree leaning on wires.

I suppose I could have overcome the lack of power somehow, but I lacked the ambition to do so. I barely scraped up the ambition to get to work today. However, getting ready by flash- and candlelight added interest to my morning.

When I got to work, I learned I was right to stay home. A co-worker who drives the same road I do told me he tried to come in but was prevented by a fallen tree. Steve called me at lunch time to tell me power had been restored. Phew!

So this is my Wuss-out Wednesday Post: a litany of excuses for not posting on Tuesday. Let’s all hope for something better on Thursday. As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

Anyways, Happy Easter

I have been very bad about posting on the weekends (OK, posting at all, but especially on the weekends), so I thought I would take a slight break from looking at a DVR’d episode of Columbo and make a short Easter Sunday Post.

You had me at Vincent Price.

I keep noticing this picture in my Media Library and luckily remembered it for today. I don’t really have much to say beyond Happy Easter, but when I can add a picture of Vincent Price, it certainly seems worthwhile to do so.

I loves me some Peter Falk, too.

Since I mentioned Columbo earlier, I add a picture of him, too. My husband, Steve and I have not done much to mark the holiday, except for munching a few chocolate bunnies I picked up earlier this week. That is OK with me.

I need a rubber chicken in my life.

Before Columbo, we watched a DVR’d episode of Svengoolie. Regular readers know how much I love Svengoolie, and the old horror movies he shows.

I guess I can bill this as a Cinema Sunday, with Vincent Price thrown in. For anyone who did not know, the picture shows Price as Egghead on the old Batman TV show. That show got some really great actors to play villains. I should look for more pictures and do a whole blog post about it, perhaps on a future Monstrous Monday. Once I upgrade the blog and can add new pictures (preview of coming attractions).

In the meantime, Happy Easter to all who celebrate, and Happy Sunday to all. Once again, thank you for tuning in.

Half-Baked, Not Baked, and Not Really Friday

I missed making my Lame Post Friday Post last night, and I confess, my first impulse was to say, “Bag it!” Then I said to myself, “Oh, just go ahead and make a post!” (It is perfectly acceptable to talk to oneself, you know.) For one reason, our laptop is inexplicably working again. After a fashion. As I ten-finger type (I LOVE to ten-finger type!), sometimes the letters do not appear as I type them. I type in a sentence, then wait. It magically appears. Sometimes with typos, but, you know, nobody is perfect.

So I guess I shall just rattle away till I get to 200 words. I am a little pressed for time this morning. We must head to Greenwich, NY for a sad reason, and my husband, Steve, wants to leave around nine. I have been marginally productive thus far: I went for a run, I cooked myself a healthy breakfast, and I wrote my usual post cards. Should I count cooking myself breakfast as being productive? I mean, I usually do eat; it is kind of a given. Like taking a shower (I would hope washing is a given for everyone, although I know it is not). I shaved my legs in the shower. That is not a given. Some people would say that is Too Much Information, but I get very annoyed when they tell me that. Would that mean it is Too Much Information for me when you tell me I have given you Too Much Information? Points to ponder.

And I just remembered: Lame Post Friday is the proper home of Half-Baked Philosophy! So a Point to Ponder is highly appropriate. I have another: Can I still count this as a Lame Post Friday Post when I am clearly posting on Saturday morning and, in fact, my Half-Baked Philosophy has come from my Saturday morning activities? That one is too complicated for me. Better let it bake a little longer.

Oh dear, I just remembered that when people smoke pot, they call it getting baked. I am not a pot smoker (not that there is anything wrong with it, I just don’t). I hope no pot smokers feel I am usurping their nomenclature. Or is it cultural appropriation? Another point to ponder.

Late Theatre Throwback Post

So after skipping Tuesday entirely and making Wednesday’s post early Thursday (why didn’t I bill that as a Wuss-out Wednesday? Missed a bet), I took a Blogger’s Sick Day, and unfortunately I mean a literal sick day by not posting at all. It was also a half sick day at work, as I left after four hours and went home to bed. On previous Blogger’s Sick Days I have managed to post a small, whiny thing explaining why I was not making a post. I am becoming a very bad blogger.

It is now early Friday morning. I believe I am well enough to make it through the day at work. As I wait for the cable to re-boot (cable’s sick day?), I thought I would try a Throwback Thursday Post. I only hope my Media Library will not be as recalcitrant as it usually is.

“To be or not….” Oops, wrong play.

This was when LiFT, Little Falls Theatre Company did The Tempest in 2017. I almost wept with happiness when I saw that summer Shakespeare is returning this year (preview of coming attractions).

Here are a few more Tempest characters. I guess I don’t have a whole lot more to say. But when LiFT gets going again, I hope for many good posts. Maybe I can have a new feature: Theatrical Thursday. As always, I hope you’ll stay tuned.

Was It Something About Mice and Men?

My best-laid plans to return to daily posts are not coming to fruition. What is that quote about “best-laid plans” anyways? I cannot bring it to mind, if I ever even heard the full quote. But never mind that (although I could do a whole post about famous quotes and how they get mangled). I am just trying to make some post, any post.

I really have no excuse for not posting, other than my usual struggles with depression. I cringe a little when I type that (one letter at a time with the stylus on my Tablet, just to give you the picture). I am embarrassed to admit I let my depression keep me from doing things. I am embarrassed to admit my depression. What is depression, really, but me whining about how I don’t feel happy. What is my problem, anyways?

But, depression and other mood disorders are real problems for some people. Would I shame someone else for admitting they suffer from depression? I hope not. I hope I would encourage them to seek help. So while a part of me wants very much to delete the last paragraph, another part says, “No, let it stand. Admit you have a problem.”

Don’t all the self-help gurus say you should do the thing you fear? Well, I fear what my friends and family will think if they happen to read this post. Goodness, I just asked a co-worker yesterday if he still read my blog (he said, “Why? Did you say something about me?” I guess I just did). What if he reads this? Oh dear.

In any case, I see I am over 250 words. I think I will bill this as a Non-Sequitur Thursday Post. If only I had a good headline…

Just Make a Monday Post

I just remembered I used to have a feature called Monday Mental Meanderings. I originally called it Middle-aged Musings Monday. Then there was one post called Moronic Monday, but I never made that a feature. All this by way of introduction on a day when I want to make a post, but I ain’t got nuthin’.

Imagine my delight.

I went for a short run after work, a thing I rarely do on Monday. I thought doing something different might shake things up. I did not run very fast or very far (so it wasn’t real different). After my shortened cool-down walk, I walked into my backyard and discovered we have crocuses! Full disclosure: the above picture is from 2021. This year’s flowers look remarkably similar. I also observed a couple daffodils buds. A little joy to my heart.

Unfortunately, spring will also bring bugs.

Mental meanderings and middle-aged musings aside, I did not want to have a completely monster-less Monday. So here is Joan Collins in Empire of the Ants. I would like to see that flick again.

A couple of times today I saw this Facebook meme to the effect, just do something. For example, if you can’t face the whole sinkful just wash one dish. I took this advice to heart. I could not run two miles, but I managed one. I washed and dried a load of laundry, even though I did not fold it. I could not do a really good blog post, but I managed 250 words. Happy Monday, everyone.

Lame Post IN the Morning ON Saturday

I tell you, it is a whole different perspective. I am sitting in the chair instead of on the couch, pecking at the Tablet with a stylus pen I was lucky enough to find (I have mislaid both actual styluses and all the other stylus pens), sipping tea, and hoping nobody minds that I did not post on Thursday. I was actually hoping nobody would notice but felt compelled to mention it, being me. Even I could not hope my readers would not notice.something I actually mentioned.

Tea does not have as much caffeine as coffee, by the way. A friend read me the amounts from a drug studies book many years ago. An acquaintance (she passed for a friend at the time) once said, “Oh, no. You can do only one or two dunks of the tea bag, that’s all!” How scientific: one or two dunks. An example of people thinking they know things for no particular reason.

I seem to be getting bogged down, but since this is my Late Lame Post Friday Post, I will continue to sludge through.

The first paragraph raised two questions in my mind. The first: why does one sit in a chair but on a couch? One can sit on a chair, but that usually refers to one of the wooden variety. I occupy a nice cushy living room chair (see what I did there?). “In” seems appropriate. However, couches are nice and cushy, too. Why do I not sit in a couch? Right now I do not because my husband, Steve, is there, sound asleep, by the way.

One might argue that Steven should be IN bed. Ooh, this one makes sense: you sit ON a bed, usually on top of the covers and try not to mess them up. You sleep IN a bed, nicely snuggled under the covers.

That was a delightful discussion, for me anyways. I will just mention my second question: what is the proper plural of styluses? My autocorrect wanted to change it to “stylized.” As usual in these disagreements, I prevailed.

I have finished my tea. Perhaps I should get on with my Saturday.

Making Lunch, Not a Blog Post

So I guess I did wuss out on Wednesday, not making any post at all. Right now it is Thursday morning, and I am pecking away on my Tablet, hoping to come up with something, anything, at least mildly entertaining. At least I have already had coffee.

In my defense, we went to Fratello’s Pizzeria in Frankfort, NY, last night, where we had a lovely evening. We feasted on garlic wings and garlic knots (take that, vampires!), and listened to a duo on drums and acoustic guitar.

I took a couple of pictures, specifically for a blog post, but I still have to upgrade to include more pictures. Perhaps I can do that after work, and write a real post about our evening.

Right now, however, I have to finish getting ready for work. I just remembered I forgot to make my lunch. Maybe I could just take my leftover chicken wings.