This morning I wrote the following in my notebook:
History, cheese and wine, what’s not to like? Writing a blog post about them, apparently.
Then I put parentheses around the second sentence and went onto begin a blog post about the event I was referring to. Alas, I did not finish it. However, I liked my acknowledgement of my initial resistance to writing so thought I would tap out a few thoughts about that and call it a Tired Tuesday.
Sometimes the rush of Just Don’t Feel Like It is mere laziness or another bout of our old enemy Fear Of Not Being Good Enough. The operative thing to do is put the pen on the paper and give it a try. In today’s case, it worked. If my break had been longer, perhaps I could have finished the post and avoided another post about Why I Can’t Write a Post (I’m using a lot of capitalization in this paragraph; sorry if it bothers anybody).
However, sometimes resistance is trying to tell a writer something. I hesitated a moment before I wrote the second sentence earlier. Proponents of free-writing will shake their heads and say, “Tsk-tsk,” but sometimes when I am writing, I think a sentence and do not write it down. Then I decided to write it down and to ponder the thought. I wondered if I wasn’t becoming bored because my posts were becoming monotonous. I wondered if my readers were becoming bored — ghastly thought! I did not ponder the thought long but kept writing, to see how it would go.
It actually did not go too bad. It just isn’t finished. But is it good enough? Have I become monotonous? Are my posts still amusing and readable (dare I say — witty)? Or am I just second guessing myself as usual?
Ah, I think I’m on to something there! As I said earlier, it is my old enemy, Fear Of Not Being Good Enough. But here’s a question: why do I feel that fear so much more on an ordinary post than on a Post About Why I Can’t Write A Post? I suppose the bar is set lower for today’s kind of post. Then again, who sets the bar but me? Well, I can’t start second guessing myself about this post. For one reason, I have to get ready for rehearsal (remember, All Much Ado All The Time).