I’ve got it! Monday Mental Meanderings. This is my new feature. It replaces Monday Middle-aged Musings, which I have mentioned I don’t particularly like. But who could dislike mental meanderings? Oh, I suppose somebody could. Well, that unpleasant hypothetical person does not have to read this.
Here’s a contradiction I just noticed about myself. I hate hypothetical questions yet I constantly have conversations with hypothetical critics. I say they are imaginary conversations (usually arguments) with people in my head (or is that conversations in my head with imaginary people?), but I’m pretty sure they are also hypothetical. Wait a minute. I was just about to embark on a diatribe against hypothetical questions when it occurred to me that I may have already published such a thing. A pause while I check.
A cursory check of past posts revealed nothing. So I continue. I hate hypothetical questions because they usually assume the impossible. “Your house is on fire. All family and pets are saved. You have time to go back and save one object. What do you save?” That’s RIDICULOUS! You don’t go back into a burning house and save one object! That’s asking for death! “Yeah,” says the questioner, “but if you could?”
“YOU CAN’T!!!” I repeat.
Then there’s my favorite (I can’t believe I never put this in a blog post before, but I don’t mind repeating myself): “If you could invite any three people, living or dead to dinner, who would you invite?” For God’s sake, I can’t invite three people who live in this town to dinner and count on them all being able to make it on the same night, never mind the Nobel prize winners or movie stars people usually answer this question with. However, my answer to the question is, “I would invite three dead people, because they wouldn’t eat too much. They also wouldn’t talk too much. It is a well-known fact that dead men tell no tales.”
BUT, one may argue, what if somebody asked you a hypothetical question that did NOT assume the impossible?
Waaaait a minute! Did a hypothetical person just ask me a hypothetical question? I just told you, Homey don’t play that!
Here is a non-hypothetical question: What does anybody think about Monday Mental Meanderings?