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Oh Oh, Auditions!

I was unsure whether to hyphenate oh-oh or put in exclamation points, Oh! Oh! or use the comma. I may change my mind by the end of the post.

Yesterday my husband, Steven, held the first night of auditions for Dirty Work at the Crossroads, the Gay ’90s melodrama he is directing for Ilion Little Theatre. You might think that since I am sleeping with the director, I would approach these auditions without nerves, and so I did, uh, didn’t. Not too much, anyways.

It is a short drive from our house in Herkimer, NY to Remington Avenue in Ilion where the theatre is located. This is a good thing, especially since we almost forgot the scripts. I knew if we had forgotten anything else I would be easily able to retrieve it while Steven stalled. In fact, we were cool.

Some people were already waiting for us when we arrived. Soon we actors were filling out our audition sheets. I put all wise-ass answers on mine. Like I said, not too many nerves. Several people were a little confused by the last question, “Is there anything else you’d like us to know?” When I typed up the audition sheets I was thinking of things like, “I know stage combat” or “I’ll work backstage if not cast” or “I can tap dance.” Um, I don’t think there is any stage combat or tap dancing in the show, but we will have a backstage.

At last it was time to be on stage reading the scenes. I was at a slight advantage since I read the play last weekend. People caught on to the characters and situations pretty fast, though, and it was entertaining to watch. At auditions I always like to see other people read a scene before I read it, so I can steal their good ideas. After all, plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.

Some really talented people showed up for auditions, but I’m afraid not enough to cast the show. The second round of auditions is tonight, so I hope Steven will get a few more people. I’m sorry I did not write this post last night and post it right away. If I post it within the next twenty minutes, people will have exactly one hour to read it, decide to audition and show up. Now how many readers do I think are going to tune right in and act on what I write? How many local readers do you suppose I have? As the great Fats Waller said, “One never knows, do one?”

Auditions continue tonight, September 6 at 7 p.m. at Ilion Little Theatre, The Stables, Remington Avenue, Ilion, NY. For more information visit their website at or their Facebook page.

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